I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to put your socks in the pool, swim with a shirt on, or let your baby in the water with a regular diaper.

Gross.

However, NONE of this is worth calling the cops over. None of it. The neighborly thing to do would be to offer to lend him a pair of flip-flops, or something.

You know,…

I hate when people use “literally” when it isn’t warranted, but I literally peed a little and scared my dogs from laughing when she came through the ceiling. Watching it 4 or 5 times is just so comical...

Stutterin’ prick that he was...

The last guy I knew who went by Spider suffered a much worse fate.

A friend honestly used to have a band named after him, simply called Bosio. I think spider monkey sounds more rockin though.

Yeah sure I’ll cry in the office first thing Monday morning. Sounds good.

I need some sweet dictator-style shades to up my street cred....

That was pretty cool, but my big takeaway is that Maradona looks like the reheated corpse of Kim Jong Il.

WHY ISN’T “CYBERBULLY FIANCÉ” A LIFETIME ORIGINAL MOVIE YET

“Enjoy your silver medals, my dudes.”

You’re right. “Cop who murdered unarmed man is later revealed to be a Nazi” is much more accurate.

I played in a band with a white guy who had a fully black forearm - a tattoo that literally inked his whole arm from wrist to elbow, 360 degrees. I never asked... but I know that must be covering up some shit the dude wasn’t about anymore. I think that is the preferred method, not leaving it and saying, “Deal with it,…

Are we even going to feign surprise that a guy with multiple nazi tattoos got hired as a Louisiana police officer?

Just last week, I asked to move to a different table because of kids that were squawking next to us. Why are some children permitted to constantly make noise in public places while the parents just sit there and ignore it? I won’t let my evening be constantly interrupted by bad parenting.

Honestly, what happened to RAISING children? We would have been sitting in the damn car so fast our heads would spin. Poor Mom - but she only had to do it once per kid and we were very well behaved after. Nothing like everyone else getting a treat that you’re denied due to your own behavior.

I loved sitting around watching Dungeons and Dragons for a half hour while the players got stiff and more jittery before the puck drop. Suck it Vegas and drop dead, Caps...

People forget that!

In the entire 100 year history of the NHL, Washington has never won so much as a single game against Las Vegas, even in the regular season.

I also loved the jab at the Jedi Order of the prequels when Luke points out how they were over romanticized and more or less brought about the rise of Palpatine and the Empire through their own ineptitude.