Everytime I hear the phrase “sneaker release” I die a little inside.

Genuinely surprised the church allows this...

The shootout is one of the best shootout scenes in history. It still gives me the chills after 4 or 5 times through.

I’m one of the few that really liked season 2, although it was confusing as hell

How could you leave off Fargo Season 4?  That’s the real crime, you betcha...

We’re all cock stars here...

I use the default “Sent from my desk at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory”. Chicks and dudes dig it.

She has the face of a college girl who’s never seen a dick

She makes Bills fans seem civilized...

Fresh clams

“Still a twat”

Fargo (the movie AND the TV series) has an affinity for Arbys.

19? Pussies...

It warms my frozen heart that Philly is so bad at hocking right now.

It’s because he is a twat

Never had to do that.  If you do, then quit cooking before you hurt someone.

They’re not hard to find. I live in a tiny mountain hamlet in the Adirondacks and the deli/garage in town has had them for 15 years.

I can’t understand why everyone has such a hard time cooking rice. Step 1, buy *good* rice, not grocery store Uncle Ben’s. I like Royal White Basmati rice (https://www.amazon.com/Royal-White-Basmati-Rice-Pound/dp/B000LRH6DQ/ref=sr_1_6_s_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1546622387&sr=8-6&keywords=rice). Step 2 follow the directions on…

I can’t believe you did that to scallops...

And I don’t do drugs, just weed.