All three of those movies rule though???

It took all of one time of Turbotax trying to charge me for having a “nontraditional filing” because I had a student loan to make me swear never to use their bullshit product again.

In high school I worked as a dishwasher at a take-out place for a couple months, and one night after catching me sitting down for about two minutes the owner hung signs all over the kitchen that read:

“ARYANNE THE NAZI PONY”

Jerking it to cartoons has never, to my knowledge, lead to a genocide.

Even after all these years, the internet still finds new ways to surprise me.

Calling Tucker Carlson an Ancient Fear-Eating Giant Spider from Space is an insult to Pennywise.

Calling Tucker a clown is an insult to clowns.

That would imply it wasn’t born in the deepest pipes of the sewer to begin with. It’s an utter trash fire of a television program, but that’s what makes it fun.

Gurihiru is exceptionally good at drawing cute shit.

She was pitched as a Native American character, but she’s playing a piece of Cheryl’s jewelry. The past two seasons have completely butchered poor Toni.

DKR was absolute dogshit and none of his others have quite reached that level yet, but I bounced off Interstellar and Dunkirk, too.

Nolan’s been kind of hit or miss for me, but when he hits he fucking hits.

Was really hoping Nier: Automata was on here and didn’t leave disappointed.

I find it pretty amusing that unlike the character he plays, Aidan Gallagher is not permanently trapped in the body of a 13 year old, and so between seasons puberty has made him taller than Ellen Page. Whoops!

I wonder how many drafts the writers went through before the production notes fed to them by a computer algorithm with feedback like “BEEP BOOP NEEDS 13.48% DJ KHALED HAVE YOU TRIED FORTNITE REFERENCE” finally got them to break.

Pringles’s ability to put ridiculous shit like “jalapeno cheddar barbecue potato skins” on a can and then manage to have the snack inside taste exactly like jalapeno cheddar barbecue potato skins is nothing short of witchcraft.

My introduction to Sex Drive was putting on a random Netflix thing on to kill two hours, and for whatever reason Netflix only had the unrated cut (remember when those were a thing?). During the scene when he’s running naked through the cornfield, they kept cutting to his dick, except the double they used was an…

There is a strong case to be made that Airplane is the funniest movie ever written. Pretty sure I’ve seen it 20 times and every viewing there’s a joke I missed before.

Somebody, please, anybody, stop this man’s reign of terror.