It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Shits Himself

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So NOW we publish a picture of the suspect?

Let’s catch this monster...

Mystery solved. Here he is...

If we want to capture this guy, wouldn’t a physical description help?

Why Does the Car Have Boobs?

Part of the problem is that LotR itself suffers from a bit of MPD. LotR is singing songs in a pub in the Shire. But LotR is also Gollum being tortured in an orcish dungeon.

Every New York City Transit employee gave the same description of the “surfer” they saw riding the back of the train or darting across the tracks: young, male, wearing black clothing and white sneakers

I thought understating the horespower was so they won’t get into a horsepower war with other brands.

“A lot of times we just saw this context where the infant had been left in the car seat for hours and hours, and the supervisor was asleep or intoxicated during the time.”

For those not near recreational boating, similar fun can be had outside of a Best Buy as people try to fit large TVs into small cars.

Bring friends so you can bet the over/under on how long ‘til somebody suggests they try taking it out of the box.

That one rolled down, sank into the swamp THEN caught fire.

Fireable offense.

This is the first time I’ve seen anybody brag about an honorary degree. I’d be more impressed if she earned an actual degree.

This announcement of Empire’s demise comes on the heels of Fox pulling the plug on the Damon Wayans-helmed Lethal Weapon...

How do I explain what that means to my 6-year-old?