I never thought I would say this about Robert Kraft getting a hand job but I hope there is a leak.

Here’s a fun fact about the Marlins:

Talk about an elimination game!

The ball going into the basket was quite a process.

I'm unreasonably annoyed that your capital "b" isn't capitalized.

yeah, no, you’re wrong. If you think the parent of that kid doesn’t know what a terror the child is being, then your head is crammed so far up your ass you can floss with your chest hair. 

Saturday night I was at a party with a bunch of Jets fans. They were obviously mocking me for the Jones pick since, unlike me, they are fans of a great franchise that puts a winning product on the field every season. Anyway, I simply pointed out they they were jealous. They took Hackenberg 51st overall, but since the…

Yeah. 

To be honest, gaslighting morons in Florida isn’t even that hard.

I know it’s jeets and he’s a legend but nobody’s just going to gift it to him. Success isn’t wrapped up neatly in a basket. 

In the words of (I think) a SportsCenter from nigh-on fifteen years ago, Simmons gave Lowry’s undercarriage the old how’s-your-father.

“Simmons threw an angry elbow directly to Lowry’s tender bits.”

This is the only Kuiper belt I am aware of-

“Everything riding on Mr. Jones? Hell, even we had a second single.”

Chalking tires is just another form of excessive white-on-black policing!

What’s the name for someone who displays Dunning–Kruger effect like tendencies within their own field of expertise? Is it the Grunfeld-Gruden effect?

Such a shame.

This is why, the older I’ve gotten, the more I try to avoid confrontational situations with strangers. Even when what the other person does couldn’t be more inappropriate and assholish.

And please oh sheperd of the lost, guide me to a better tier so i can stop trying to carry these bronze n00bs and save me from this hell