That baby is NOWHERE NEAR 25 pounds. C’mon man, get a hold of yourself.

Boy oh BOY did Valentina show what a suave little creep she is during that reunion. I don’t know what happened between her and Farrah but that was quite a bit of drama and then Aja just up and saying she shouldn’t win Miss Congeniality...woah. And all the while Valentina just stood there...looking beautiful like a…

This story gets the ZACK HAMPLE BLACK EYE OF APPROVAL

So when I was growing up, my mom loved coupons. And there were always Burger King coupons in the paper and they said “one per family” or “one per order”. So to beat the system, my mom and dad would stand in different lines, each with a coupon and one child. Because she thought she was cheating the system my mom would…

God I hate people who use posterior in place of butt/ass. It’s not clever or cute or funny. I am not giggling Jill. Not even a little bit.

I’ve pretty much given up on arguing that I am a science believing, educated, liberal, feminist Christian because a) no one believes me and b) no one is going to change their mind. But I find it interesting that there are comments saying “until the church changes x, y,z I’ll keep spewing angry shit” but in the same…

As an opiate addict in recovery and a Christian with a brain, I’d just like to mention that there are some real a-holes out in force today.

What is going on with Rizzo? He was such a nice boy, bringing orange slices to the game and now he’s flying off the handle in the dugout, spewing fucks on camera, taking out catchers? His mom is gonna be pissed.

As a parent, this story is...terrifying. People in the past have scolded me up one wall and down another for teaching my daughter that police aren’t necessarily good guys and not necessarily the first line of defense. Power corrupts and they have a ton of it and can’t wait to use it on the populace.

AAAnd he’s a good and dedicated father. Have you seen him reading bedtime stories on the BBC?

I’m sorry, but Tom Hardy is 24/7 Zaddy...hotter than white hot liquid fuck. But when he’s menacing he’s over the top, ovaries exploder. He looks good in a beard, clean shaven, a little scruff, twink skinny or Warrior ripped. He’s just...f-ing perfect. And he loves dogs.

And I also went through IVF, miscarriage then pregnancy, then rehab....getting that flat tummy just hasn’t been top of mind. I’ll never forget the gym I go to now, I was whining to the yoga instructor at how I used to be so flexible and bendy and could do all the advanced poses and she just said “who cares? Your body…

I think it also definitely depends on the kind of gym. I live in Chicago and there are the Trixie gyms that are basically singles bars for the young and beautiful and then there’s the gym I go to which is part of a hospital and has a lot of “walkin’ grammas” I feel far more comfortable there.

I’ve always been self conscious of “working out while fat” and everyone says “No one cares. No one is looking at you” and then this harpy shows up and assures me that yes, they are looking and they do care. It’s like when I was a kid and embarrassed to undress in front of my pediatrician. My mom said ‘he’s a doctor!…

Let me add that my character was a nun.

Trump and his paramour.

I was briefly a “personal assistant” for an actor who felt she was a LOT more successful than she was and basically my job was to stuff envelopes with demo reels and headshots and mail them to everyone in the world (I was desperate). I also occasionally typed stuff. But I will be damned if she didn’t hover over me…

I was all about this position of old school “the boss owns your ass” attitude until she detailed all the overtime she worked on weekends, before and after the 9 to 5 shift and did not charge her boss for it. If her boss didn’t respect her “9 to 5" rules then why did she expect her to answer the phone at 6 in the…

You can see how all of these “new Jezebel readers” suddenly rush in to support Melania and her...her partner. They get their marching orders from somewhere and swoop in to parrot their bullshit.