MASS HYSTERIA!

Birdman made me insane. My bloodpressure was through the roof and the jazz percussion only soundtrack literally made me tense and angry. I hated it.

You’re being ridiculous. Stop being ridiculous.

The only reason I’ve seen many of the nominees is because my husband is SAG and he gets a bunch of screeners every year. So I’ve seen Hidden Figures, Lion, Florence Foster Jenkins, and we have Fences, Moonlight, LaLa Land and Arrival still to watch.

Hm. I know nothing about the inner workings of politics but I wonder if they’re just waiting until the appointment of a conservative justice and then once installed, they throw him under the bus with a quickness.

I’m a little off put by the amount of “unconscious drivers” I’m hearing about lately. My coworker was in a car accident last week because her blood sugar dropped down to 30 (she’s a type 1 diabetic) and she blacked out. In fact she doesn’t even remember getting in the car to drive it and when she t-boned another car…

The day someone comes for my Diet Coke is the day I go off the rails.

Here’s what’s funny to me. The guy in the Beautyrest Black commercial, the hotel manager? He’s forty thousand times more interesting a person than Tom Brady will ever be, and I would venture to say only about a half of a percent of anyone watching will ever know it.

My sincere Valentine prayer is that these people are being sarcastic when they say that their Valentine’s day is ruined or that they feel LITERALLY DISRESPECTED.

Maybe it’s because I’m becoming a perimenopausal old lady, but in a pinch, the first guy could get it, in sort of an angry, 4chumblr rage fuck sort of way that ended with neither of us wanting to admit it happened.

You know what? I’ll take centrist...I’ll even take a guy leaning a little to the right. I’ll take Chris Pratt. Anything but what we’ve got.

So, you know, RIP to that poor guy tasked with carrying the football. I”m pretty sure that’s not supposed to be public knowledge, right? Because if I were a bad person, that would be a pretty snazzy target.

Oh my God. You’ve really opened my eyes to my own liberal hypocrisy here today! I’m going to quit my job, submit to my husband and start complaining about how “dark” my neighborhood his getting. Thank you for opening my eyes with your incredibly apt and entirely equal comparison.

I don’t want to defend too much of Equalizer’s shit because I disagree with the motivation behind about 80% of it, but as someone who has read the other commandments, I suspect Equalizer is referring to this one because Jesus himself referred to it, literally AS The Greatest Commandment, more important than the…

I’m genuinely amazed by the people responding to @trumpregrets on twitter. It’s schadenfreude definitely to see people realizing they made probably the most impactful and yet stupidest decision of their lives but then here come the progressive Democrats “we appreciate your apology, now join us in the fight!” or “We…

Every once in a while RoguePOTUSstaff says something that makes me lean towards believing they’re fake. I completely believe that POTUS is an idiot, but sometimes this account takes it one step over the top. I just don’t know anymore.

Sweet miracles of Lourdes, this video MADE. MY. DAY. Those llamas could not be stopped!

As a mother whose child wept and gnashed teeth while begging for an American Girl doll and who bought one and took out a third mortgage to buy two extra outfits for her, I think everything they make should either be sewn on or have a geo locator tag because after spending fifteen dollars on a pair of doll shoes,…

You need a lot of stars for this comment. A LOT.