Matt Gaetz saying “Nobody is above the law. She must be held accountable,” is really fucking rich. 

Always go to the expert:

Fucking ew! God, no one deserves to have to have sex with Rush Limbaugh.

Oh my, I completely forgot about this place until I saw the headline! There was a location in Seattle when I was a kid that we all had our birthday parties at over the course of a couple of years. I gotta say, me and my friends all loved it. I remember nothing about the food, but the experience was super fun for…

“I’m trying to learn how to talk here, Elephants. Pipe down.”

This is very sweet :)

Oh god I can relate. Growing up on our way to potluck, the crockpot full of piping hot chili tipped over and absolutely coated the entire back of my mom’s van. It smelled like Febreeze-scented shit until we got rid of the car years later. We called it the Chilimobile.

This is easy. I was broken up with by my middle school boyfriend’s mom over the phone.

This is why I came to Jezebel. All of the female celebrities posting tributes to him...and all I keep thinking is “doesn’t anyone remember or care that he’s a rapist?”

I’m glad it’s not just me! My kitten was a little less cuddly than I wanted, so I worked on really bonding with him through touch. Now I can’t get that MF to leave me alone for even a second and sometimes it would be nice to not always have a cat in my lap or following me around or meowing (read: yelling) at me…

Also, even though what Michaels said sucks, the Buzzfeed reporter brought Lizzo into the conversation out of the blue. She was baiting her and Michaels took the bait. It was shitty of Michaels to say what she did, but I think it’s way shittier that the Buzzfeed reporter decided to take the angle that she knew would…

But were there 30-50 of them?

I do this, but instead of sexy meetups, I imagine all these scenarios of finally confronting people and expressing my true opinions. I need to be more assertive I guess, but I’ve been doing this almost every night for as long as I can remember.

Yes! I’ve always been real on the fence about kids, but as I’m getting older, I think I’m starting to realize it’s way more about self-preservation than not liking kids; I struggle hard with anxiety and the thought of being responsible for a child truly scares me. Also, kids are by their very nature super…

That seems pertinent and should have been included in the article!

My boyfriend sometimes laughs like a hysterical child when he’s sleeping and it sounds nothing like his typical awake laugh. Creeps me the fuck out every time and I’ll either wake him up or go sleep in the living room because it’s too unsettling.

You were nice to her and complimented her home, maybe she wanted you to stay :)

So...no fingerprints? What did the police think was going on?

It does, doesn’t it? I hate driving through there. Last time I did, it was early in the morning of the 2nd day of my road trip from AZ to WA and super foggy. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to step out of the fog, which as a lifelong Pacific Northwesterner, is not normally how fog makes me feel.

Option #1 is the way to go. It also makes it the scariest, because it’s like binging on spooky. This week has not been productive for me.