I may (or may not) have first hand knowledge of the following;

Well, I think even completely tiny boobs have some room for an implant, but the sternum is a pretty small area with kind of taut skin. I imagine putting an implant in there would be like having a sports bra type uni-boob, but like under your skin....

i'm against helicopter parenting, but willfully neglecting an infant or toddler or specifically putting them in a dangerous situation? that makes me want parenting basic safety classes to be mandatory.

i met people who were all kinds of unprepared for life. just a "how did you make it to adulthood?" sorts of people.

god i will always see black leather gloves and assume they are murder gloves. THANKS OJ/EVERY MURDERER ON TV!!!!

Nobody puts Baby on the floor.

Of course! For only $100 you get a thermos that says "GTFO" in large letters. We'll cram your initials on there for only $50 more.

But! Does he sell monogrammed coffee thermoses?

I think that's cool - I buy gifts throughout the year with the intention of giving them as Christmas gifts, but then I give them to the people early as Random Wednesday gifts and wonder why I'm poor when it comes time to actually Christmas.

It's a Pangea toaster for friends who have three dachshunds.

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to get these kinds of messages, ladies. Sometimes you have to wait months or even years to find out you've been dating an asshole, but these guys just let you know right away. It's practically a public service!

Seriously, any dude that uses "libations" (or even worse "m'lady") who is not dressed in period-accurate reproduction clothing needs to be drawn and quartered. The Queen has so ordered.

I think you can go Christmas gift shopping without all the Christmas hoopla, yes?

Now I can't stop singing.

RT @Ravens The child deeply regrets his role in the incident.

Well, I can tell you one thing: it's going to be important all up in here.

Y'all hatin cuz u jealous.

I feel like this is now an acceptable response to the more ridiculous comments on Jezebel. EXCUSE YOU, I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON. I SELL MONOGRAMMED COFFEE THERMOSES.