If you were dating Elisa Gonzalez, her grammar stylings would be the least of your problems.

"Movies are written in sand: applauded today, forgotten tomorrow."
-D. W. Griffith

Ignorant. You're being ignorant.

Don't forget to check out the 5 episodes that show why we're still mourning Happy Endings article on the AV Club!

Remember, there's three pointing back at you.

I suppose in film terms, the Van Halen one makes sense.

Herman Hickman on Celebrity Time is a frighteningly sobering example as to why one should avoid red meat. I'm surprised to learn he lived another 8 years. Cool find, Amadeus.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Twerking*
(*But Were Afraid to Ask)

Only the "small Mario" parts.

Fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame
Fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame
Fame, fame, fame
Fame…
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What's your name?

"I don't think women should be in any government job whatever. I mean, I really don't. The reason why I do is mainly because they are erratic and emotional."
-Richard Nixon

How many times can you turn over the same leaf?

Hannah Montana and Her Sisters

He hasn't had time to mullet over yet.

"Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."

No use crying over spilled cheese.

Did Rick Nielson base his early persona from Huntz Hall from the Dead End Kids? That's who he's always reminded me of. Maybe it's the flipped brim.

One Monkey Don't Stop No Show… so climb on in!

It could be something pirate-related.

I thought it was a person who sells stockings but apparently that's a Hosier. Hoosier is the official demonym for a resident of Indiana.