A lawyer friend once told me that when a person has multiple felony convictions and is facing more felony charges, they might as well just roll the dice and head to trial because they're fucked no matter what.

Martin King? You mean Marty King from Akron? He'd always be willing to drive someone to the airport or help them move. Real good dude.

I always thought that after an interception, the QB is a potential tackler and could be hit.

But he was the architect of it!

I've been a fan of this team for 25 years and you're right, this team is NEVER winning anything with Snyder as the owner. He's 12 years older than me, but he's still going to outlive me because all owners seem to live to 105 for some reason. He's a less likable version of Kim Jong Un.

In the context of the post, I can see your point. More importantly though, over 30 people recommended my original comment.

I'm not saying that people should be grateful, but I don't think his record was bad enough for a "Fuck you, Belichik" either. My perspective is a bit different, I guess. I'm a Washington sports fan in Virginia, I just follow the Browns because my dad is from Ohio. DC sports fans are used to people getting dumped early…

When he took over in '91, the team was 3-13 the previous season. That perennial playoff team went to shit before he even got there. He then went 6-10, 7-9, 7-9, 11-5. They then kept it at .500 the first half of the 95 season before Modell announced the move and everything fell apart.

What bugs me when the media talks about "distractions" is that they're the ones who create the distractions. "Can the team handle the distractions?" translates to "Can the team handle the crazy bullshit stories we create?"

Yeah, that one playoff win was a total flash in the pan. Has that guy even accomplished ANYTHING since?

Didn't Wallace retire?

On the day of the Packers-Steelers Super Bowl, a Steeler fan friend posted on Facebook that everyone at her church was wearing black and yellow and the priest hung a Terrible Towel from the podium. This was in Northern fucking Virginia.

That's what the Illuminati want you to think.

In January 2012, I tried to kill myself. I drank a lot of beer and swallowed a lot of klonopin and was planning on tying a plastic bag over my head. Fortunately, I passed out faster than I was expecting and never got the bag over my head. I spent 3 days in the ICU then more time in a recovery center. So from personal…

I was just mocking what I thought was a poor attempt at trolling. You've gone into Gary Busey territory there.

You talk? On the phone? Ewwww.

I'm just saying it's Parker's own fault for getting fired by provoking the NFL with his criticism.

Parker was criticizing an NFL star and Stephen A was defending an NFL star, see the difference?

I've been reading deadspin since 2006 and they've always thought that ESPN and pretty much everyone on it sucks ass, so I'm not sure what you think is different about the site now.