I'm not as fatalistic. I think they COULD have been something ok, but some kind of toxic mixture of the internet and insecurity over their own tiny dicks just sent them onto the wrong path.

See? That was super lame and off-topic but you got a little dinging reward buzzer in your head. The internet has ruined you.

But nonsensical mockery is just confusing; it doesn't make any point against what the other person is saying.

That… doesn't have anything to do with what I said? You just quoted a word but the rest of the content was totally unrelated?

LET THIS BE OUR FINAL CONFLICT

Did… did he imply that the illuminati is gangsta?

I had a weird experience with The Exorcist: I wasn't scared by it at all during the movie, but then we got to the end, and I realized the fucking DEVIL WINS, and it made the whole thing scary in retrospect. He never wanted Regan. He always wanted Karras. It happened just like he planned. Fuck.

I rarely disagree with the basic ideas in this column, but man, I do not understand someone saying the gruesome body-horror stuff isn't the best part of The Thing.

I'll Do Anything is a great little movie, and it needs more love than it gets.

"pansexual" is an odd way of saying "obviously gay."

I just realized that Jim Gaffigan basically took this guy's act and turned down the volume and that's it. I can think of worse comedy inspirations.

There is a piece of me that desperately wants a video released of Trump saying the n-word… not because it would put a nail in his coffin (his coffin is practically welded shut already) but because his subsequent statement would be psychologically fascinating.

"Think about someone you know who’s taken a break from Facebook for a bit. Did they do it quietly? Probably not."

I have to admit a preference for the charmingly surreal, Evan Dorkin / Sarah Dryer era over the later stuff.

" I want a chair. I want to sit down for a change. I want a chair that says 'Moltar,' and it'll be Moltar's chair. It'll be beautiful. That's what I want."

I love Fastball mostly because I love that their top hit is about a couple that just up and abandons their children in the middle of the night and then is happy forever.

I used to have a PA job on King of the Hill. One day I rode up in an elevator with her. I felt incredibly awkward, because on the outside I was friendly smiles, and on the inside I was like "I am being turned on by Bobby Hill."

I actually feel ashamed that I liked Clerks, because there are people in the world who knew that Kevin Smith sucks before I did.

TAFT!

The Tick vs. The Mole Men has one great gag: