Also, if you live in a state where polls close early (I believe in Kentucky they close at 6 p.m.) that shit needs to change. Working people can’t vote if polls are only open when they’re at work.

Her intern and I talked and he’s been secretly switching her alcohol for colored water with a bit of bad flavoring tossed in.

That is what we need. 20 Internet research nuts and Maury Povich: “Our panel has fact checked your answer on trade deficits and has determined that that was a lie!”

Dear GOP Candidates,

FRATS ARE ABOUT COMMUNITY SERVICE, BRO

I really want to figure out how to beat this cat allergy...I want to get my stepdaughter a little black kitten for christmas...but I am a cat sneezing MESS!!! Like, I have virtually no sense of smell from sneezing so much when I had cats as a teenager...

He should first fight his parents for naming Reince.

I was really hoping your pom was named Pom Tetty.

We have a cat named Luther but I mostly call him Lou. (Or Lulubells.)

I’d offer to join you in the liveblog but I don’t think I have enough alcohol to get me through that level of snark.

OMG remember Amal’s face when Guiliana did a shot of tequila on the red carpet. I think we would actually probably be best friends.

Louis is the cutest and has the best name!!!

Yeah...I'd rather hang out with Cindy.

She has been conspicuously absent. Methinks you’re on to something.

Both of these things are relevant to my interests. I could be their buffer zone!

Bennifer 2.5

I usually think it’s obnoxious when people do that whole “oh you didn’t vote? Then you can’t complain” schtick, but goddamn, the amount of times I’ve heard someone under the age of 35 prattling on about how the right wing is destroying the country and how The Daily Show totally “destroyed” so-and-so the other night…

I am an expert, after all.

Sorry, your lousy life choice is killing you.

I don’t even understand how anyone can run in stilettos.