He wants to distract from yesterday’s breaking news about his “foundation” operating illegally, and his illegal trading with Cuba.

I’d also like to think that, in his furor, he knocked over his chamber pot.

I find his concern for virtue and bad judgment to be somewhat disengenuous. Maybe it’s just me.

The best/worst/most predictable part of this is that she wasn’t even in a sex tape — she just posed topless for Playboy.

I understand that he has words, the best words. I don’t know, maybe someone pointed him towards thesaurus.com?

I imagine him skulking off into a corner whenever he wants to tweet something ridiculously horrible. Then he slinks back to his handlers and campaign managers with a shit eating grin on his face giggling like a child and they all just go “aw shit someone gave him back his phone again” and prepare to do damage control.

Now imagine this person talking to Angela Merkel, Theresa May or Erna Solberg.

the longest stocking cap

See, and here I was thinking someone else had to have tweeted it because I refuse to believe Donald Trump knows the words “paragon” or “virtue.”

I love this because I imagine that he was just tossing and turning in bed seething about this and then finally leaped up, cast aside his absurdly long stocking cap, and tweeted this out before collapsing back into bed.

my worst Miss U.

Maybe that’s the only time he can get his phone back from his aides? Serious question: how much of his constant attacks on Machado are a heavy handed attempt to frighten other women who have also been mistreated by him from going public?

I didn’t imagine that it could get worse as I scrolled away from that forced kiss, but it did: SHE’S ON AN EXERCISE BIKE. What a fucking jerk.

I was watching post-Debate coverage Monday night on CNN. They had this panel of 20 undecided voters, all of those voter agreed Hillary won, except for two middle-age, overweight white guys. One with an actual neckbeard.

Keep in mind, too, that this is a picture of her when she had gained “all that weight” and Trump forced her to workout in front of reporters. Sooooo fat, right?

No one’s as irrationally confident in their looks as fat white dudes. Like, they’re always the loudest critics of other people’s looks, particularly women’s.

The day that I can read the news without having to come across the name Donald Trump will be one of the happiest days of my life.

All men are too much work, Sofia.

All in favor of making Anthony Wiener live in a Faraday Cage, say aye.