https://twitter.com/joeldongsteen It replaces “God” with “Your dick” and it is beautiful.

Osteen terrorized the San Francisco area in the late 60s/early 70s by performing a series of gruesome murders too?

I WILL NOT OPEN MY CHURCH, BUT I WILL OPEN MY WALLET TO YOUR DONATIONS

I love that the comic was written by Al Franken. ^_^

Keeping those people from drowning would just make them dependent.

George Carlin had a good one about football players thanking god. Nobody goes on record saying “God made me drop the ball.”

I mean, I feel the same way, but I think guys like Osteen are far, far worse.

Prosperity preachers are vermin and the exact opposite to genuine Christianity. There better the a fire and brimstone hell for these con artists. In the meantime, I shall console myself with Tweets from Joel Dongsteen. https://twitter.com/joeldongsteen It replaces “God” with “Your dick” and it is beautiful.

Another sign of how entitled people have become today. Like when God uses a job creator as his divine vessel to grant a job to a restless soul and that restless soul demands to be paid a fair living wage. Sign o’times I guess.

i saw on the news something about a woman being reunited with her five kids and she started crying and saying something like “god is so good for bringing my kids back” (i was at the gym, it was subtitled without sound so that might not be an exact quote). like bitch, if there WAS a god, they did this shit. thank the…

He makes me think of a test tube clone of Tim Allen and a ferret.

All they’re asking for is 10% of whatever FEMA/insurance eventually pays out Praise Jesus

This phrase also applies to Ted Cruz perfectly.

I meant it in the sarcastic sense of “it’s literally the least they can do.” As in take your prayers and shove them up your ass. If you want to help, then help, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ve done something other than fluff your own ego by offering ‘thoughts and prayers’.

The Germans have a phrase for it ... backpfeifengesicht.

Whew! - - I thought I was nuts for a hot minute, because I thought it was Martin Short playing a televangelist. Mercy. I did not know what the guy looked like. Short would have a fuckin field day playing him..... .

God would send him a signal if God wanted Joel to take people in. I dunno like a flood or something.

I never saw him as a man of God, just a motivational speaker. Whyare we putting this on God. We should be assisting our fellow man. This church is sitting empty, no excuse.

That is an amazingly punchable face.
He is Jesus-Shkreli