Who else curves their dick in the john so they end up peeing on their balls? Nothing better than that feeling of your warm man lemonade streaming down on your yam bag.

Please respect the game a little more Jose. Don’t you dare have fun. Just sit in the dugout and develop Tony Gwynn chaw disease and have no fun at all Jose.

Okay okay okay guys hear me out. You are all getting a boner about a guy flipping a baseball bat. This is why baseball sucks. That is like the most exciting thing that will have happened this season. The bat flip is already more exciting than the World Series.

Baseball sucks. Come at me bro.

The only thing worse than actual baseball are it’s pretentious white fans. We get it. You’re nerds and this sport makes you feel less nerdy.

Cue all the Steeler fans who are gonna say “Meh look how well we travel meh. We are such great fans meh.”

Hola! Me llamo Perro Pepe. Me gusta sexo en el bano.

“And to think all we did when I was at Florida was jerk off on headstones in cemeteries. Kids these days.”

So why aren’t the Raiders fined weekly for their fans dressing in drag?

1. You’re from Texas.

Is it accidental if he were addicted to pain meds from all the injuries? Not saying he meant to become an addict, but you get what I’m saying. Was he possibly an addict?

These Kennedy Assassination Reenactments are getting more and more realistic.

I’m sure there was an #AllLiveMatter protest going on in the vicinity.

To be fair Gil better be on his chill. Caron comin straight outta Racine, WI. Dem niccas up der will straight beat you down with a cheddar cheese piece son.

Is Kevin Draper still filing that lawsuit against his mother because his pecker is so small he pees on his balls? Or did that go to arbitration?

To be fair, having a penis rubbed on you and then praying is an integral part of weekly mass in the Catholic Church.

Wanna learn how to manage your pitchers if you are a MLB Manager? Just contact Kevin “pussyeatin” Draper. Just leave him a message if he doesn’t pick up, as he’s probably fuckin my girlfriend in her precious starfish while I’m out buying groceries.

Leave to good old Kevin “pussyeatin” Draper to tell these millionaire baseball managers how to coach their teams up.

Hey Burke remember that time you got a blowjob from an actual female?

Not sure if this helps, but I once fucked Matt’s brother Tim’s wife at La Quinta Inn. She was pretty adamant that was who she was before I paid her 25 dollars for servicing me.