I will quibble with one piece here: do not butter your bread. Melt the butter in the pan and sauté the sandwich in the butter. When it's ready to flip, pull the sandwich out, melt some more butter in the pan and repeat the process with the other side. You can thank me later.

Sometimes (read: always) when I'm feeling lazy, I just put two slices of American cheese on two slices of whatever store-bought bread we have and put them in the toaster oven. After the ding, they get plopped together for a quick, tasty sammich. Two questions:

Step one in making a grilled cheese sandwich is NOT doing anything with a can of soup.

Steve Vai is actually quite a skillful guitarist. He worked as a music transcriptionist for Frank Zappa when he was young, (who himself was Julliard trained in strings) and after that apprenticeship, joined Zappa's collection of virtuoso musicians as a talent in his own right. He went on to a notable career in many…

ODB didn't have a problem with you fucking him, but he had a little problem with you not fucking him.

I'm confused: how exactly is this post shitting on a Broncos player?

Crossword puzzle makers rejoice! The LARAMS are back!

You can get a facial …

— chief among them...

Some people just have a Sikh sense of humor.

Yeah, except that's not remotely what I said.

"He can't talk, but he was just smiling a lot and he was just fist pumping. They said as soon as we saw you jump, his face just lit up and he was just fist pumping and stuff so that made it so worth it for me," Torres said.

Battier: I’m thinking we go with a 90’s boy band hit.

Its cool when very different people can come together to find something they can agree on like how Macklemore dislikes George W. Bush because of his stance on gay marriage and Carroll dislikes him because he blew up the twin towers.

Erin Andrews: "We've got t'hug here."

"Hey fellas, that's a pretty good idea, but how does "N-Word Life: Volume One" strike you? It's basically the same thing."

The nationwide engorged cock the media had for Ray Lewis, who exhibited all of these same traits and may have killed a guy and certainly destroyed evidence from a murder and paid massive civil penalties in the same case, makes it difficult to accept any indictment of Richard Sherman as a thug.

Greg Glassman's first thought after reading this article is how you forgot the (TM) after Crossfit.

Oh, sorry, I forgot to include the link. We always do a bare-bones nuts-and-bolts version of each week's Foodspin over on my personal Kinja, for people who don't have patience for the digressions and flights of fancy. Here:

Well, I'm from Texas, and jealousy is unattractive.