Funny how she calls the lawsuit baseless when she threatened Honest Toddler with a frivolous, baseless lawsuit. Jessica Alba can kick rocks.

Many, many years ago, I worked transport for the ER and a man came in with the spoolie end of a mascara wand stuck inside his penis. He said he thought that it would feel good but he was sadly mistaken.

It looks like Sheldon Cooper in a suit.

And Felicity :(. She was my favorite.

Oh they were horrible. A tribal sun that looked more like a tribal egg, a wizard Mickey Mouse flipping the bird, and the words “Free Bird” inked on the back of his forearms. Bless his heart.

An old coworker ordered a tattoo machine off eBay and then he’d get plastered and tattoo himself. He had some real gems.

I think it would too, and possibly give it a greasy mouth-feel?

“One of these things is not like the others” lmao. I dislike hummus and mayo hummus sounds even worse. I don't understand people.

Please come marry me Ryan Reynolds. I have a snarky sense of humor and I'm one hell of a good cook.

Do you live in East Tennessee? Because that is exactly something they would do here.

My ex’s family put mayo in mashed potatoes. Ew ew ew.

Chanel West Coast is the worst.

Those pockets are just terrible.

I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm sending you Internet hugs right now.

It never did anything for me. I felt like it was a waste of money.

I feel that way about mushrooms. I'm allergic and the fuckers are in everything these days.

Sautéed peppers and onions are a condiment in my house.

Dude, me too. Give me a Homewrecker with chicken, all the way, and I will be a happy girl.

I am Team Moe’s!

Burritos are awesome, but Team Moe’s all the way.