“Your honor, he left his socks on so that clearly isn’t rape-rape.”

This does come across like the guys who didn’t think about all the issues affecting women until they became the fathers of girls. 

Do you really think Sarah has been treated more poorly than Sean was? When your job is defending and justifying President Flip-flop’s lies and contradictory statements, surely you have to expect some tough questions?

Hey! He’s barely getting by with 16,000 acres!

Your Dunkaroos slogan is giving me creepy Silence of the Lambs vibes.

I’m pretty sure I belong in the other timeline where the smiling lady on the left won. Can you direct me to the nearest portal?

Do you ever look at stuff and wonder how it got there?

Also notice what appears to be casual antisemitism there.

So, you meant metaphoric memo, not actual memo from, idk, Disney, or Kevin Feige? A secret cabal of people with crappy tweet histories?

Men finding ways to whine about them not being the biggest. In Utah lots of white men are so sad because they want to be in charge of the airforce base or the church or the polygamists or the desert or the deer or the sun or the water or the mined or the farmers or the moab tourists or the cantaloupe stand customers…

Loved the article. 10000% here for the comments.

If you don’t love me at my most treasonous, then you don’t deserve me at my slightly less, but still blatantly, treasonous.

Personally, I’m hoping for a fatal cerebral event on live television. Or  heart attack, I’m not really picky. But I really want it happening while a camera is rolling so I can watch clips of it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

You can do that and much, much more just by taking a job in Washington DC. Have you ever wished you could LIE, and I mean boldy LIE and then question anyone for not believing you? You can!

This is beautiful.

It’s a shame that someone as famous, rich and impressionable as Justin Bieber allegedly wasted countless millions of dollars on a cartoonish megachurch, when he could have wisely invested in cost effective courses to remove the body thetans that are obviously desultorily impacting his current behavior. Now more than…

We have to protect society in case she gets out and, uh, tries to breastfeed more babies, uh, nevermind...    Ya, that seems a stupid amount.

See also: IHOP. They let kids eat free some nights, which is obviously discrimination against me, an adult.

“and individual families — need to be much better prepared with their own supplies...”