It’s the Bowling Green Massacre all over again. #neverforget

We’re going to give a Nobel Peace Prize to a man for bragging about the size of his dick on twitter?

Yeah unfortunately there are only two people in the white house that are literate, they are tasked with reading POTUS his bedtime stories.

How else would I have ever found out about the Bowling Green massacre?

the WALL!

John Mulaney describing the Trump’s charade of a presidency as “ This Is A Horse Loose In A Hospital” is one of the best metaphors I’ve heard.

I hope Mother is tagging along to chaperone Pence and Ivanka’s little field trip. Wouldn’t want anyone cutting in on Daddy’s territory.

I’m ok with that.

“Mumma won’t let me play outside because of the consumption, I told her that don’t want to play with the governess all day! That’s why I pushed her over the railing just like I did to the last one, she didn’t wake up either. I hope my new governess is better.”

Awww. When I grow up, I want to be Canadian.

+100 points for “JarJar”

Heck, this is so common Law & Order (the Mothership) did an episode about it way back in 1995!

dear everyone @ greenpeace,

last night was soo good here. I could just see the tears streaming out of that one wonky eye of his

You all should create a subblog about Ben; you could call it Carson Daily.

North Korea: “Miss, just how much of a racist idiot is your father? On a 10 point scale is he an 8 or a 10?”

Hey, this is the guy that famously got to the bottom of the election interference issue by asking Putin twice if he did it. I mean, sure, he might lie once, but two times? Never.

Remember when Republicans didn’t take offense when you said something negative about nazis? Pepperidge Farm remembers.