I know the point here is that Chris Christie is a lewser but just to get needlessly heavy about stuff: I come from a family full of drug addicts can I just say shitheads like Christie making addiction sound like a secret dark magic germ that hides in marijuana plants and jumps out and grabs you and makes you do heroin…

Single-handedly??

It is all worrisome. He doesn’t understand the war, history, or anything about Jackson. I think Jackson would have made the Civil War worse.

Trump thinks Andrew Jackson could have prevented the American Civil War. Despite Jackson dying in 1845 and the Civil War starting in 1861.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, why hasn’t anyone given any thought as to why there was a Civil War? Why couldn’t they just work it out?

Look, when Europe sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us...

they should file it on a boarder of Canada , in Wisconsin

THATS my new euphemism for vaginas.

Hot take: the sex isn’t consensual if it’s being extorted from you because your single most vital personal possession is being held hostage.

I definitely need to work on my kegels. Last time I tried the pen kept slipping out.

Yes, the “way she spoke into that microphone”

Ivanka was so embarrassed, she spent the remainder of her time in Germany using her alias: Adrienne Vittadini.

I wildly googled to find out where he was here because if he had been anywhere near where I live I would have hunted him down and chucked a cannoli at him.

If I had a nickel for every time these Republican assholes said “snowflakes”, I’d be on my $100 million dollar yacht sipping top shelf brands. The “snowflakes” are the ridiculous creatures within the Republican party who contribute nothing beyond being white, male, fat, under-educated and overpaid. 

(Unintelligible)

99% of men in his situation would grow a camouflage beard (and likely look quite handsome) but beards weren’t fashionable in the 80s, so his father won’t allow it.

Your girl looks like she’s had enough of trump’s bullshit. She may be plotting a coup.

Can you imagine being in an Egyptian prison and THIS IS THE AMERICA YOU COME BACK TO?! I don’t blame her for being excited to be home, anyone would be and it’s not like she can tell the Trumps to go fuck themselves because who knows...they might just send her straight back if she does.