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“children, especially his sons, will be devastated if their dad is no longer part of their lives.”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard your dick will deflate like a sad balloon for for a week.”

Best of both worlds. Sending a 15 year old assaulty-sexts.

Ah yes, the old “I’m going to talk about sex like it’s so violent that I will murder/main you horribly” routine.

You realize that’s not an impressive number, right? I’d say that’s two for every state, but looking at the list it’s got the vast majority of them in California, apparently the only place where the Green Party is managing to do anything. 5 states.

Well minus Kickstarter’s 5% cut, $15,000. And the transaction costs, which is usually another 5-9%. And the cost of the rewards, that’s usually anywhere from 30-40%. And the shipping of those rewards. And I’ll bet factored into that cost is the maintenance of those shoes for years to come.

That’s a little too close to “do it for the exposure.” People who work in conservation train for years to do their work. It’s difficult, time consuming, and their target clients are often museums. The Ruby Slippers are absolutely something you want to pay a professional for. Your show pieces you do for free are

It will also involve cleaning and how long that takes/how many times it takes depends on what’s living there, for how long, and what methods you can use that won’t harm the shoes. And they have to deal with whatever repairs previous conservators/well-meaning curators did. That can cause an enormous headache.

I keep having this argument with a co-worker, Mr. I’m-White-and-21-Let’s-Burn-The-System-Down who is voting for a third party of unknown nature (honestly, I think he’s going to write in his band’s name but he swears it’s not a protest vote).

The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August was fantastic. An actual new take on the idea of time travel without there actually being time travel but sort of? It’s really good.

I wanted to drink fancy hot chocolate my boyfriend bought me but then today had the audacity to be 70 and it’s turned into whiskey on the rocks.

I had a white hair in the middle of my left eyebrow. Then I had three. I have to pluck them, they make it look like I have a bald spot. If they keep expanding I’m going to have to start putting mascara on them.

AHHHH. I just googled these because they would have been right in the path of a friend-visiting road trip. But the Monster Museum as destroyed in a fire and the Dinosaur Kingdom is closed and I am so disappointed.

If both patients and doctors are more aware, this sort of thing could be nipped much more quickly

Trump is an orange tang cupcake with a Cheeto-buttercream filling and a slice of solid fondant with gold leaf perched on top, dusted with Cheeto dust. It’s advertised as huge but it’s actually one of those little baby-sized cupcakes.

Not even with someone else’s vagina.

Silly. Ladies don’t pee. They sublime into the atmosphere.

Holy fuck that blog post.