I can’t tell the different between Jenners, except I do know which one is Caitlyn. Other than that, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh gee, Trump lied and doesn’t give a shit about anything but photo ops where he can shove himself to the front? Surprising!

Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

Can we just play through this Presidency?

Haha! Excellent. OT, but also made me think of this:

...squad.

And here I thought that Shakespeare guy is doing an amazing job and getting recognized more and more.

After fostering very young puppies and kittens I learned you have to “lick” their bottoms with a wipey after they eat to help them eliminate because that’s what their mothers do.

My husband used to chew up a bunch of peanuts into a crunchy paste and then pop it into our baby girl’s mouth. Gender equality in our house.

fewer people in my way at disney parks? good!

They’re offensively ugly. No chins, and the slicked back hair makes them look like serial killers. Eric looks like Voldemort, except with hair.

I love that in the picture of Leonardo di Caprio et al, it is very obvious to me that I would not even look twice at any of them if they were walking down the street. Yes, Leo can act, and he cleans up real nice, but they all just look like average dads now, no matter how single and famous they are.

That movie would have been infinity better (and more honest) if, when the Queen asked “Who’s the fairest of them all” the Mirror answered “Chris Helmsworth.”

I’ve been saying Kamala Harris 2020 since before the 2016 election was even over. She’s awesome. I hope she’s president someday.

OK, new rule: any sitting government official who answers ‘I can’t recall’ to any question about critical meetings they had under 6 months ago they had should be removed from office, because they are either a liar or have mental issues that disqualify them.

I also love that “incredibly focused” line, like we’re all dumb enough to believe that this family of certified pieces of garbage are all deep, deep in intense thought on how to Make America Great Again. Not just merely focused, but INCREDIBLY focused, more focused than anyone’s ever seen anyone focus on anything…

These are Melania’s parents.

Cheer up, George Michael, there’s always money in the banana stand.