He’s 5' 7". It’s possibly the only place he’s considered big.

Definitely an optimistic way of phrasing it. It would be like me saying I have a five-date “exclusive engagement” at my job every week.

It’s been postponed? Huh. Well, how bout dah.

her two-date tour

Who is paying money to see her do anything?

How can a man that red and swollen have such a weirdly voluminous ass?

Argh! My eyes!

There are days I hate the man and days that I think he’s a decent human being.

Oh my god, why would you post that???

They’re grading on a curve in Washington right now, including on someone’s “hotness”.

Retire, old man, you’re fucking useless. You can cluck your dessicated tongue and wag your bony finger at Trump’s antics all you want, but you don’t actually do a goddamn thing about it.

I cannot believe that nobody at a Midtown Manhattan-based organization said, “You know, this name is a bit too similar to American Idiot. Maybe we should try again.”

Amal > Beyonce

I presume your cats are meeting to decide how to treat your mental illness

A lot of times if you go to a disadvantaged neighborhood, you ask the kids, ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’ You get about five different answers. But there’s a thousand. We need to show people the other 995 and how you get there.

Of course [state of mind is] just a component [but] it is an important component, how a person thinks.

Sadly, this never gets old.

“Women, in general, get a lot of pushback, especially if you’re successful and attractive.”

I thought Republicans liked the rule of law and the constitution and stuff? Why do they love the idea of holding someone without a warrant just because the federal government asked you to?