Don't tell me how to do my mom

But when I do my mom

Blue Label. You've deserved it, old chap.

I guess even rich people get upset when someone tries to screw with their wealth redistribution schemes.

Whatever, he fucked me pretty good too.

I hope he wore a glove.

I disagree. They appear to be good at getting caught.

The venue is exclusively 21+. Sorry to burst your bullshit bubble.

I work with a guy who eats out someone before he comes to work, & doesn't brush his teeth.

Mmmmm... pussy.

I use Venn diagrams to try to look smart.

That second question seems redundant.

I'm never going to a public venue starting tomorrow.

I am scared and horny because of this.....

Isn't that the girl from Roseanne?

Big thanks to Michael Irving for trying to complete each phrase as they're being said like he's solving goddamn Wheel of Fortune.

It seems to be the unpopular opinion, but I agree that it is just unnecessarily cruel. I've spent my entire professional career in colleges and universities (not in athletics) so maybe I am a bit protective of college athletes. This just seems like senseless humiliation for someone who Deadspin would usually point…

There are 136 replies to this. Please tell me that I'm not the only one suggesting that we maybe act like human beings and not make fun of a 20 year old kid who had something hideously embarrassing happen to him on television? Maybe? Just this once?

Scientology: Religion as conceived by The Onion.

There is a whole lot to choose from, but man do I ever love the guy in the white jersey.