You and Donald Trump deserve each other.

My lonely ass just came to read your naughty stories.

Shredded lettuce is the least of your worries if you’re eating taco bell on the road. I’d be more concerned about violent bowel movements.

This man is a Hillary Clinton shart away from the presidency. We’re fucked.

Check out Numi loose leaf teas on Amazon:

I really hope they go with Nut Butter

Those cameras tho

What kind of multi dimensional porn are you watching?

This was my first year back home for Thanksgiving in 6 years. It was supposed to be a joyous event for all of us since we were all finally back together after so long. Hahahahahahaha. NOPE. My mother decided to start a fight with me this morning over something stupid that she made up in her head. I’m 31 but she still…

What a dick face.

I’m willing to bet that is the minimum requirement.

Two years ago they gave me a $3o credit for a free meal with no stipulations. I obviously didn’t go alone, because that would have been terribly sad.

This reminds of a website that lists all of the places where you can get free stuff for your birthday. Did you know a ton of places, including Benihana, will give you free food on your birthday? If not, now you do!

That’s a Droid commercial! I can’t believe I missed that one. Man, me and my Motorola OG Droid had some great moments together. Thanks for sharing that!

Is this from a movie?

You’re missing some holes.

You in the mood for Indian tonight?

His ashes tagged along for the ride.

Well, The Sopranos was not a bad show. So you guys have two things.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say you’re doing anything bad. I was just trying to be funny and failed miserably. Happy Friday!