This is by far the best comment on that stare he’s giving the Phanatic.

If I were a Phillies fan I’d definitely be pessimizing right now.

The fact of the matter is: the Cavaliers lost because LeBron didn’t have enough help.

Yeah. It’s incredible that both of the following are simultaneously true:

Or he’s practicing his fencing response.

As a scientist, I can tell you I have blinded dozens of squirrels and released them into the wild. None have ever found a nut. There’s your evidence. You’re welcome.
Now if you excuse me, I need to keep the neighbor cat from eating all the dead squirrels on my front lawn.

So, you’re saying it’s not just one guy who killed Pitt hoops, but it was yinz.

I knew I’d seen that image somewhere before!

I don’t know if you’ll be able to handle this revelation, but there is also gambling in this establishment.

AND THEY SAID MARKELLE FULTZ CAN’T SHOOT A JUMPER!!!

While doing penance in summer school 1969 I was constrained by the rule that only let you miss TWO days of summer session. Having already lost one with feeling crappy, I was up against losing two to attend the 1969 Watkins Glen Can-Am/six hour FIA race. I needed to pass the classes but, hey the GLEN!!! Solution? Use…

His face is the amalgamation of everything I hate about him. You can look at that ugly mug above and see directly into the horrorshow that is whatever passes for his soul.

I am entirely the sort of mark who would fall for a retro-themed ad blitz when I’ve had zero interest in the current product(s) basically since 2004.

Alternately: 500 Days of Sumheir

Cooke comments are merely continuing the tradition of honor, respect and pride synonymous with the Redskins name.

you’re lots of fun - just the level of corruption fatigue Putin likes in his subjects

*Damnit. Not to point fingers, but I, uh, trusted a certain editor from New Jersey on that point. David Roth will remain nameless, though.

Maybe they were right when they said Americans don’t understand irony...

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

Yes, US Soccer invented the friendly.