I only read the intro and bullet points of Barf Bag and I scroll so fast past the tweets — does anybody else do that? 

I’m all for the entire country using a symphony of farts as a leitmotif accompanying Trump everywhere he goes.

I’m convinced that these MAGA hats are made of tin foil.

People are saying they’re virtuoso farts. The best farts. I don’t know about that but people are saying it.

I say both sides should meet in the middle and #CancelFamilyGuy

Superior:

I would call this the funniest cartoon ever made. And one of the best theme songs, right up there with Cowboy Beebop’s “Tank!”

“My wife gave me crap the one day, told me I need to look more interested out there,” Flacco said Wednesday. “But I’m just trying to stay out of it. I’m not comfortable out there. I don’t need to get too creative.”

I would like this post un-grayed by Thursday!

So what you are saying is that this bronze statue has Outshined all other Bronze statues?

It gets worse. SCOTUS has a case on its docket in this term (Gramble v United States) that’ll decide the fate of the dual sovereignty doctrine. Basically, it allows the double prosecution of a person by more than one state for the same crime, where both states have jurisdiction for the prosecution. It’s an exception…

I had a guy ask me if I had any tattoos and when I drew out the simple one I had on a napkin, he got super quiet and told me that my tattoo was a design he had written about in a story years ago and that because I had it, I was the Chosen One.

My best friend is next door neighbors with Afeni Shakur (RIP), now other Shakur family members live there. They’d sit out on their shared patio and she’d talk about how utterly heartbreaking the rumors of Tupac’s life in hiding were. 20 years later and her eyes would swell with tears not at her son’s death but that…

He also did The Adventures of Mark Twain, based on some of Twain’s short stories. It has one of the creepiest scenes ever put to clay - The Mysterious Stranger.

“the new volume was a chance for Mad to reinvigorate itself in a world where Cracked, of all places, had somehow supplanted it as a trusted destination for smart, cutting satire”

Y’know. Before they fired everyone.

Oh baby it’s raining, raining! Oh baby it’s raining, raining! When the sun shines we shine together, told your our love will be forever, you can stand under my Umbrella, brella, brella!

Dear Baker,

I couldn’t resist this:

“Are you trying to trick me? Is this a killing book?”

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die, fuckface!