God, this page is full of bitter little pills. I’ll bet you’re all in the same dorm room not talking to each other.

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

So which QB is Bruce Willis?

I think you did it exactly backwards, honestly. There’s nothing wrong with a 16-year-old surfing porn, so long as he’s not looking at stuff that could bring the FBI to your door. You’d rather have some insight into what he’s looking at than drive him further underground in his pursuit of it.

Huh, I had no idea what Leitch's voice sounded like.

🎶 Your agent called to say

I wonder how many times FoxSports is going to buy Whitlock two seats before they stop letting him fly anywhere?

The ceremony will be held in the parking lot so everyone will have to look the other way.

You know what team sucks even more than the Packers right now? The VIKINGS, because they don’t have a QB!!!!

Wow. They already have one QB who can’t stand up; why add another?

RIP Teddy Bridgewater

My favorite response was left out:

the best clap back

If you’re the type of person who plays Bucs vs. Broncos in Philadelphia, maybe the game isn’t the only thing with a glitch.

Daunte Culpepper said that? Damn.

Joe Namath — now there was a Jets quarterback!

Ashley will write EXCLUSIVELY about memes.

What an idiot. Who starts with the tenth film in a series?

All Dogs Go To Heaven and Fourteen