There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

The fact that an NFL game is a 4 hour insurance, beer, car, and financial services commercial with 10 minutes of actual football playing is killing the league.

I don’t know what Trump’s complaining about. It’s just locker room talk.

For me, the buttfumble is something that created a great bonding moment in my family.

You think you can eat this doughnut? It’s already been eaten once, for the sins of the world. You can’t eat a doughnut twice!
You think it’s in your stomach, but it’s free! You’re the one that’s in a stomach, with your rules and your society.

Also, Jerry in Accounting.

Suchet was, is and forever will be the only Poirot that matters.

Step 1.

Those poor people look so sad, like a couple of cagED raCCooNs.

President Trump has responded to the allegations against Al Franken by Tweeting “May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas.”

They could rebrand it as Sansparent

Which also starred Jason Bateman who was also on Arrested Development with Kevin Bacon.

Too bad Dick Sargent is dead.

displaying the same shaky command of the English language as his sister

“Haha, I’m a walrus! Ork! Ork! Ork!”

You fail to mention that in Australia, the horses run clockwise around the track.

last-place 1990 Yankees season

All I Really Need to Know I Learned at Deion Sanders’s Prime Prep Academy.

“Glenn Whipp? Glenn Whipp? Glenn Whipp? four Glenn Whipps.”

I’d pay good money to watch Walt Longmire knock the crap out of Ari Gold. I’d pay more to watch Robert Taylor knock the crap out of Jeremy Piven