Mulholland Three-and-Out Drive

Making a football move. nyuk nyuk nyuk

You left out the fun part for all us Las Vegans — we have to dial 702 for every call within the area code.

It is the best idea.

YOU GET SHOULDER PADS! AND YOU GET SHOULDER PADS! AND YOU GET SHOULDER PADS! SHOULDER PADS FOR EVERYONE!

Dear Texas,

I recall many years ago, as a kid, reading a book about the Super Bowls™©® (at that point they had played VI, so you have an idea how long ago this was). As I remember, there was a quote attributed to Fred “The Hammer” Williamson before Super Bowl™©® I, in which he suggested the National Anthem should be played after…

...assuming he actually makes it to New York...

Cobb County Cornholers

Now that that’s finished, when do we get an installment of Why the NFL Sucks?

Is this really the hill Custer wants to die on?

+1 five-hour cab ride to downtown

#whothefuckcares

Who is Blake Bortles? I mean he sounds like a local TV weather yukster...

She copulates?

West Deptford Derpford

Humans are some of the worst people out there.

Eat Pray Say Hello to My Little Friend

I’d go with tapioca instead.

If I get to Hell and it doesn’t look like Times Square the Las Vegas Strip, I am going to be genuinely perplexed.