Unprepared meats are always caught off guard.  It’s a serious problem.

He needs to lose his damn dick in a meat grinder.

It’s always ugly-ass dudes who say shit like that too. Glass houses, you motherfuckers. 

Deserves moor stars!

I genuinely love this story. It’s this bizarre and inexplicable Fake News mystery that is also fairly low-stakes.
BTW don’t know if anyone else is watching Santa Clarita Diet, but it’s really fun! For the most part they hit the tone really well, and Dimothay Lelephant and Droo Barrimoor are too charming together. It…

For a blog that so actively promotes Cardi B love, it’s weird to see you violating her clear desire to keep her child out of the limelight.

Then again, this goes a long way toward explaining some of the Golden Globes that have been handed out in the last 50 years. (An entertainment journalist who can’t even spell “Barrymore” after 60 years in Hollywood?)

Stabbed in the back by an airline magazine.

This is v real.  I should know, as I am Droo Barrimoor’s biggest fan for the longest time. 

“I cannot deny that women made a great achievement over [the] past century, there is significant progress recorded by people who study women status throughout history. This is naturally reflected on women in the west who will not be satisfied unless they gain the rights they deserve to the society. This is…

You know the sad thing? If Elvis was still alive, he’d probably be dead by now.

HEY EVERYONE! Today I learned Cardi calls herself Bardi. Thanks for the clarification and education. Unfortunately Kinja won’t let me edit my post to take out my comment about misspelling her name. I still don’t want to see pap pix of her or her kid, or any other person requesting privacy for their family, on Jezebel.…

No, it’s true. Tupac, Che Guevara and Jim Morrison are all hiding out on an awesome beach in Asia where the dankest bud grows everywhere you look and the women are SO HOT and don’t try to find them because they’re guarded by the Boondock Saints which is actually based on a TRUE STORY. 

Bobby’s goodbye was so quiet, I had to figure it out on my own. Bobby, I wanted you to write stupid gossip sheets until you became an old man — just keep going forever to comfort me like The SImpsons. When I said Ban Jezebel Man, I meant that ONE guy. Bring Bobby back and chain him to TMZ.com! He was supposed to be…

You mean 'We have a Kulture stalking!', no? 

This photo is totally inappropriate. Please don’t share pap images of children. 

For context on that trial: when I was in law school, our Evidence professor used it as an example of how a defendant’s lawyers can use all kinds of loopholes to call an accuser a shameless whore who’s in it for the money and still stay within the bounds of the rules of evidence. 

The trial fucking enraged me. Kobe had his scumbag lawyer “accidentally” use the accuser’s full name in open court half a dozen times just to make sure it got out there so legions of unhinged fans would make her life a living hell until she gave up and went away. And it fucking worked. The judge threatened to hold her…

As the only gossip feature I EVER have read, I hope he writes instead a book/movie/musical about the Jezebel experience. We need more stories told about people learning what they can do,once they are forced out of their comfort zones...

Interesting. Now, would you ever entertain a not-leaving-Jezebel conversation