they’re the ground chicken breast of the bread world

honestly as long as your salad doesn’t have like, potato chips or something in it, or isn’t drowning in some kind of bottled creamy dressing, it’s probably just high in calories that keep you going for a long time and deliver plenty of nutrients. pig out!

you know, I’m not a tofu person but that sounds fucking delicious

Acceptable flight activities: reading, sleeping, movie/music in headphones, working, quiet conversation. WHERE do people get the idea that personal grooming falls into that scope??

OMG

ok there have been times when the unholy stench my (breastfed, for the record) baby’s shit has filled a room and i have had to cover my mouth and nose to stop from hurling. it’s a very real thing…a flight like that might have killed me

this is awful but kinja won’t let me star it and I am LAUGHING SO HARD but not AT you i swear

omg this is my nightmare

no trust me, they were an affront to mankind. Extra money for Christmas means, take any job that you can do before/after your other one hahahaha

AHHHHHHHHHH

Fuck me I hate these things. I know a lot of people like them but omg the idea of replacing proper pasta with steamed vegetable “noodles”...I just can’t. Buy pasta rollers instead.

One year it was my side-job to make these. Oy vey..

David Chang already wrote this article for GQ but I’ll reiterate: it’s not that I don’t like craft beers, it’s that they don’t go with anything. They’re too filling, not refreshing, and ruin your meal. Shitty crisp lagers are refreshing, they taste amazing with almost all food, and you can knock back more than one…

Truth. I was always on the colder side until I got pregnant/had a baby and now I’m constantly sweltering. I live in fear of hot flashes once menopause hits because you can’t take your skin off to cool down.

i lol’d

You can do it. When I was in my third trimester I would look at women on the street with their children and seriously think, how the FUCK are they even alive right now, walking around with kids they birthed like it’s no big deal?! When you go into labour, you are in the zone like you’ve never been before—being…

omg I just noticed the mirror butt. A+++++++++++++++

Never been to a gym but I know people who have and they own those cups, and curiously post photos of them disassembled in their dish racks. What a life it must be, sucking a litre of lukewarm “choco flavour” gritty slime from a plastic cup like a toddler…if anyone needs me I’ll be over here on my third martini with a…

If you’re the type of person to earnestly follow reality TV stars on IG, you’re definitely the type of person who will think those products are The Product To Have rather than a blatant shill. It’s a very dark thing indeed.

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