Sounds just like something Jesus would say.

I just got tired of fielding calls from smart phone users who demanded everything for nothing. This one guy no shit wanted me to give him the latest iPhone one year in to his 2 year contract and put him on a plan with enough data to stream to his smart TV thru a mobile hot spot, and at the same time REDUCE his bill.…

Unlimited data used to be the norm when Blackberries were all the rage. Then everybody decided they wanted to watch feature length movies on their phones and not bother to learn how to connect to wifi.

The guy was convicted. Please stop peppering every mention of his proven crimes with variations of “allege” and “allegation.” He did it.

If you had a thousand people with a thousand individual devices connecting to your home wifi router to stream Youtube and Netflix, stretching your bandwidth to the limit, would you charge them for it?

He wasn’t tried and convicted, so the news media can’t say he did it.

What I was taking away is don’t bum rides from people who just got done tying you up and punching you repeatedly in the face.

Is that on Netflix?

Your horse is cute.

I don’t know. Both of those islands look like they’re already pretty crowded.

It’s never been considered okay rape kids. That’s why Polanski’s been on the lam this whole time.

Baseball is boring.

Did all the women forget when he said Roman Polanski’s not a rapist (despite his admitting and having been convicted as a confirmed rapist) because he doesn’t lurk in dark alleys wearing a grimy trench coat?

It’s pretty sad that multiple articles about a series of assaults in one place have to be published in a newspaper before police will get off their asses and do their jobs. I don’t believe the third or fourth newspaper article was the first time the police there had ever heard of this phenomenon.

Does anybody report the bar or the bartender to police?

Sadly you were probably right to assume the restaurant likely would have disbelieved you. You didn’t form that idea out of no where. I suppose you could have gone to the hospital and had them do a drug test for evidence if it stayed in your system long enough and you wanted to press charges - in case it happens again…

If someone’s occupying an airplane bathroom for 5 minutes somebody’s going to knock. That’s a long time in the bathroom.

And cramped. It’s one of those overrated horrible sex locations like the shower or the beach or a Jacuzzi.

My favorite baby food is Blueberry Buckle, which seems to be discontinued and recontinued every so often.

1. That’s not radical.