The Sailors Mercury and Jupiter are the reasons I have things for intelligent women with pixie haircuts and tall, physically-powerful women with long brown hair, respectively.

Man, screw Super Power Beatdown. I know “Death Battle” has gotten kinda predictable recently, but at least they use stats. SPB is just a popularity contest, so Batman, Deadpool, Wolverine, and the like will always win. Plus JDF would hype up the fight and practically beg his fans to vote.

Colors are just colors. Each season has a theme—dinosaurs, cars, space police, time travel, pirates—but the colors don’t really play into powers and such. If anything, the Japanese versions use them as personality stereotypes (red is the strong, bold leader; blue is the stoic second-in-command; green is the goofy guy;…

I’ve met Austin St. John (original Red Ranger) and Jason David Frank (original Green) at comic cons in the past few years.

GOP Logic: Freedom of Speech for me and everyone who supports me. Everyone else? Shut the fuck up or get kicked the fuck out.

Fox News: “Do leaked private emails connect Obama to Cobra Commander?”

No, see, they’re optimistic they can progress back to a time when women kept their mouths shut, gays and blacks could be beaten in the streets, and concentration camps were used “just in case.”

That’s why it needs to be a lightning bolt out of a clear blue sky. That way there’s no question whodunnit.

A while back, when Ted Cruz said “Obama would never insult me to my face” or some shit like that, I kept imagining him standing in the ring with a mic, then suddenly “Hail to the Chief” starts blasting, the crowd pops, and Obama struts out and down the ramp while Cruz does that wide-eyed “OH MY GOD HE’S HERE, HE HEARD…

MEN: “If you’re never played football, shot a gun, or served in the military, your opinion on these issues doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry, but if there’s an element that can allow the story to be stretched out in perpetuity—and this is clearly what the “One Piece” idea seems to be—that’s just too convenient.”

No, I didn’t read it, it was part of a story I was told. Either from an old Navy vet I used to work with or one of my friends who are enlisted who had military fathers.

Tell that to Fox News. Today at lunch, I literally heard one of their talking blonde heads say, “You know, it’s getting to the point where you can’t feel safe anywhere anymore!”

WE ARE NOT A NATION OF FEAR!

I expect him to do that at 12:01 AM on the day his term ends.

You could still sleep with it under your pillow!

Overheard at work:

Don’t know where I heard it, but I’ve always liked this quote:

Yeah, no, I wasn’t gonna go to bed anytime soon. It’s cool.