@Phintastic: Jerry Lee Lewis?

@VoteChooch: That's the type of person who lives with the body of a loved one in the house for a few years after they die.

@VoteChooch: Now see, that just makes me feel depressed.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: conniving bitch...

@Telemundo: Dogs don't want shoes. Dogs want to smell poop and possibly eat said poop.

@PolkPanther: Animals are not people, animals are not people, animals are not people...

Pets or kids, which one is more horrible to have to listen to your co-workers talk about?

@Same Sad Echo: I've always been partial to this ending.

@All Over But The Sharting: I always keep a small can of gas in the car for times just like that. Not to put in the gas tank though, it's so I can huff the shit out of it and make the world go all fuzzy for a while.

@WashingtonForeskins: Being cousins.

@TheConeheadGuarantee: I've met a Donald Dick a few times. It is very, very hard not to break down laughing in front of him.

@BillBelichick: That is indeed an awful idea. Left about seven minutes after I wrote that. The rest of my night will be spent on my recliner with a beer in my hand.

Should I leave work now, pick up some beer and get drunk while watching sports or stay at work for 2 more hours, get paid and help my co-workers? I'm torn here.

@Dandy Koufax: Moving truck at 3 am and then to hell with 'em. It worked for the Browns.

@Hatey McLife: One of the few times I had my stereo stolen from my car the thief went through the change in my center console and picked out all the silver. I probably had about $10 worth of change in there and they took the time to pick through it and leave all the pennies.

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Rub some dirt on it!

But Cutler's a crabby bitch more than a few days a month?

I just can't bring myself to get rid of old pictures either. That's why I have a shoe box full of all my old cell phones.

@apocalypse_cow: I may have had alot to drink.

@WashingtonForeskins: Also my favorite song of all time.