That's what my gynecologist said to me.

Maria Bamford! All day, every day, funniest person I can think of, Maria Bamford:

thank the lord white people are helping other white people

"WHICH WERE FUCKING JORDAN ALMONDS, BY THE WAY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'M NOT DOING A PUBLIC TOILET BLOWJOB CONTEST FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN CADBURY MINI-EGGS"

Umm... European here, and happy to laugh at this crap along with Lindy.

But I can run when I leave the office at 7 and it will still be light outside. So there.

Kidnapping: non-consensual baby sitting

Non-consensual assisted suicide.

I don't think I understand that Lily Allen quote. She references how guys tell her what they prefer, but then talks about competition, which I took to mean her critiquing herself, as well, for feeling competitive with the thinner woman, but then says that men aren't the enemy. I just...I feel like I'm reading a word…

Yup. Individual choice. Has nothing to do with the fact that the government subsidizes processed foods and does not subsidize fruits and veg. Also unrelated is the fact that food stamp benefits for the poor are so low that they are a joke, and that many people who live in poverty end up overweight because they are…

Is it wrong that I want to move to a more obese state so I can be relatively smaller, rather than actually making the change to be smaller? Instead of having the fat friend, I can compensate by having a fat state.

I have so much guilt (like SO MUCH GUILT) for playing a part in this mentality growing up. I had several black guys ask me out over the years (high school and college) and I would always tell them no because "My family wouldn't approve." I could absolutely die of embarrassment at my role in perpetuating this lifestyle…

Poor tiger!!!!! That penguin is mitigating the pain, though.

We had a pet monkey when I was a little girl. My mother decided it was time to fulfill her childhood dream and she is crazy and selfish enough to do whatever the eff she wants—to the point of being a monster. Whenever I hear of somebody having a wild animal for a pet I assume they are, too.

"We are broken-hearted and we anticipate that we will continue to live in pain"

Yeah, that's what I was wondering about (and what I was assuming). I am one of those oddballs that finds food really unappetizing before late lunch hour, and when I do mange to push myself to eat breakfast anything more palate-challenging than a graham cracker or plain bagel is out.

I don't see what's wrong with it. My doctor tells me to eat tons of green vegetables, skimp on fatty animal products, choose limited amounts of complex carbohydrates, etc. That's about what this woman does.

I pretty much eat like this - kale smoothie for breakfast & lunch, a few almonds here and there, & then a "real" dinner. I do it because I lead a frenetic life & it's a fast & easy way to get all my veggies in without cooking during the work week and still have heaps of energy. My doc is wildly enthused about my…

Healthier than someone who eats a lot of bread and sugar for those meals, which is probably more people than otherwise.