“It’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars?”

Election day should be a paid national holiday. Many of my coworkers feared going to vote on lunch because they thought they’d get busted and fired for taking too long. Me, I lived in the area of my job, so I’d just walk and come back after I was done. It should be done. In America, we treat our jobs like a literal…

Side note: Pippen is also very good at talking slowly with a heavy Arkansas-influenced drawl. (I’m watching The Last Dance.) Despite his otherworldly athleticism, he’s got a bright future in voice work for animated snails, sloths, and turtles.

He’s the result of generations of inbreeding, you could whoop him at pretty much anything - except a competition of “who’s go the most toes”

Just 499 more to go, Joan.

Better than dating Sean Penn.

I see them as patients in a very chic sanitarium.

I would let Kate Winslet read me Trump tweets for hours and end and I really wouldn’t even mind.

Prince Philip doesn’t look a day over 200.

“letting Kanye” lololol wut? What exactly would you have them do? It’s famously difficult to 5150 someone and I’m not sure how you think they’re supposed to stop him from traveling or tweeting. Whenever I see comments like this I just assume that the writer of said comment doesn’t have a parent or partner who has been…

Youtuber Jake Paul plans to box former NBA athlete Nate Robinson, for some reason. [Yahoo! Sports]

Ah, yes, I had forgotten that one line in Governor Newsom’s order restricting indoor dining that said “except for Nobu Malibu, and only then if it is a celebrity who wants to have small celebration.” 

I wonder why he never tried being a less selfish lover?

Eminem might be a selfish lover, but aint nobody gonna convince me that Mariah is any better.

Not to be a downer, but my Quora daily digest is often about twin flames (you click ONE targeted ad and you’re trapped for life), but twin flame dynamics often include what’s called a “runner” and a “chaser.” It’s what it sounds like it is: The runner finds the whole thing too intense, and tries to escape. I…

lol first thing i though.

Damn, these past 15-20 years of Kardashians, Bravo celebs, influencers, and tiktokers has made me so jaded that even seeing a pic of Paris Hilton gives me a weird nostalgia I never thought I had. I know she’s still vapid and a terror to have to deal with, but the Simple Life seems so quaint now. Harmless almost, even…

This part of Sanger’s history is almost as troubling as Washington owning slaves, but... you’re agreeing with a position the ugliest and most disgusting of Catholic “conservatives” have been claiming about her since I first read about her - forty years ago!

Did everyone else in the world realize how close Apple Martin’s name is to Apple Martini before today? I feel 16 years late to this joke. I’ve been walking around laughing at the name like, “Yeah. Apple. That’s a bad name.” But not understanding that what’s really bad is its proximity to a questionable cocktail. I…

Making (and making bank off) a sex tape in your twenties and showing off your body is nowhere near as bad as a mentally ill, deeply narcissistic father who abuses his offspring through his own performative delusions of anguished grandeur. I was the kid of such a parent and believe me, I WISH the worst of their sins…