“...but the best sex... is lewd; it’s loud, and, most specifically, leaves little to no room for sensuality.”

Thank you.

without having to imagine his his penis

Love these write ups, hate how the people aren’t labeled and the descriptions are out of order. 

Do you think Selena Gomez is starting to feel like Good Luck Chuck?

It seems every year, airlines shrink the amount of legume I get on an airplane.

How could he? Tinkerbell can’t live without applause.

hadn’t secured permission to sample a song belonging to Tracy Chapman, the Barbz began DMing the “Fast Car”songwriter..

Thank god. Every time he talked about her, it was always to sexualize her. He even joked about switching out her birth control pills with Tic Tacs so she wouldn’t leave him. He was happy to be with the hot chick and she probably thought his creepy, stalker behavior was cute at first. Thank God she woke up.

My mother has Alzheimers and spends a great deal of time in bed watching TV. She can’t follow very well, so she flips around and ends up watching crap. Not too long ago, I found her watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I said, “Mom, why are you watching this shit?” and she says, “I can’t help it. It’s…

I had a guy ask me if I had any tattoos and when I drew out the simple one I had on a napkin, he got super quiet and told me that my tattoo was a design he had written about in a story years ago and that because I had it, I was the Chosen One.

Sporty spice nostalgia? 

anyone else have issues on kinja with embedded instagrams either not appearing at all on mobile, or  appearing too wide and cutoff? i don’t see either of these. 

I would trade alcohol for ice cream any day

You really think Kris thinks she was left out?

I can’t help but think Kris Jenner is disappointed to be left out of Kanye’s gross shout-out.

As someone who unconsciously starts absorbing the regional accent of wherever I am for longer than a week, I appreciate that there are folks who understand. I’m always so worried people think I’m making fun of them or something but I can’t help it, it just starts happening and I don’t even really notice. 

This is not a sarcastic reply. The GOP has all the cards and they don’t care what we say. But they care what corporations say. We have to apply pressure to corporations to speak out on every social issue that is on the horizon. We need to turn our backs on every company that is not a vocal advocate for women’s rights,…

Rebounding? Pony too tight?