Suddenly, there was a loud bang by the conference room door. The increasingly loud discussions stopped immediately, as all heads turned to see a lone, dusty man, dressed in a worn and tattered Kings warmup outfit.

“I heard tell y’all are having problems here,” the man said, after slowly looking each of the warring…

“A judge issued a restraining order against Tunsil on Friday.”

Which, I mean, who knows how long Pat Russell’s ten count would have taken in actual seconds.

As a Californian, I’d say, “Yeah, waste his punk-ass, esé!” And then gun guy would turn to me, confused, and go, “dude, none of us here in this hypothetical scenareo are hispanic, why are you talking like that?” I’d be all like, “Because sometimes I go a little overboard inside my own head” He’d be like, “Well, I…

An NBA franchise adrift fell under the sway of the oldest siren song of the draft, running her hard-earned lottery pick aground as she reached for the “upside” shoals of a 7-foot EuroMantis. It’s a tragic tale as old as the Lottery herself.

Great. You figured out a college kid got into a bar. He’s the first one ever apparently in your brain.

Florida State Quarterbacks gonna Florida State Quarterback.

Guess his front teeth must have happened in Las Vegas.

You know what they say about Deadspin comments...

With hands like that, it’s no wonder he can thunderdunk the biscuit a full six fences away from the goal. You just pepper the dance floor and he’ll clean the jar, no doubt. This kid hasn’t even left the refrigerator, you just wait. If Minnesota doesn’t rattle the bell, I’m sure LA will be zipping up the bean bags. And…

That boy was quickly traded to Texas for a case of Cherry Skoal and Julio Franco.

That’s lame- why did the video cut out before Zack Hample came in and punched the kid in the face and took his stuff?

At the dedication ceremony, Allen Iverson will walk across Tyronn Lue.

thanks to the jon stewart man for his sabbatical allowing john oliver to explode onto his own weekly show #blessed

Totally disagree - serving/volleying going the way of midrange jumpers has led to much longer rallies since it’s become such a baseline game. In my opinion, women’s tennis’ lack of consistent, title-contending stars with visually contrasting games makes it harder to be invested in most of the matches. There are also a…

How OTL eventually got a hold of the notebook isn’t made explicitly clear in the story.

The kid’s tommy john surgery has been scheduled for next Tuesday.

From the Yankees’ press office: “Congratulations to A-Rod for this momentous milestone thing that pretty much anybody could do, when you think about it, so it’s really no big deal.”

Cool story, Dray.