I don’t think it’s particularly helpful to publicly disagree on matters of taste, but if you haven’t seen his Netflix special Kid Gorgeous, I think you’re really missing out on something. That’s an all-time favorite stand-up hour for me. I think it’s hard to describe as “flat.”

I remember some pretty dark shit in Secret of Nimh.

That’s interesting, and thanks for clarifying. I don’t know enough about rights issues to know whether that means that (1) Viacom already owned the rights to the show, but they would have given them to Dave upon completion of the contract, or (2) there was a separate provision in the contract saying “if you don’t do…

He says that he didn’t get “paid” for the show, and that people think he got rich from that show, which I assume means he doesn’t get paid every time that show airs. But I would be damn curious to know whether he got a lump sum from Viacom when he originally signed away his rights to the show, because I truly can’t…

There is a procedure for it, but I have never heard of it happening. It’s a little confusing because there are states that have time limits on felony bars for firearms, or have easier reinstatement procedures, but none of that affects your federal prohibition. A lot of people confuse these state/federal issues and…

Oh interesting question. Not exactly. This is a question of whether Congress has authority under the constitution to pass laws on the subject. Every gun crime has federal commerce-clause jurisdiction by virtue of the fact that the gun has previously “traveled in interstate commerce.” In literally every gun case, the…

It’s a felony — there’s basically no version of heroin possession that’s not a felony under federal law. But prosecutors at the federal level don’t usually charge mere possession offenses. For trafficking offenses (i.e., possession with intent to distribute) you’d have to prove the intent to distribute, so a defense…

Always look for the “up to” when such things are reported. 18 U.S.C. 922(g) has a statutory maximum of 10 years, unless you’re an “armed career criminal,” which I assume he’s not. But it has no mandatory minimum. I’d guess that the sentencing guidelines would likely recommend maybe, say, 46-57 months (COMPLETE guess…

Would depend on the quantity. Federal possession offenses aren’t very interesting to prosecutors. If it was enough to trigger a mandatory minimum, or at least to demonstrate an intent to distribute, it would be a lot bigger of a deal.

95% of my gun clients would fall into this defense if indeed it were a defense. Sounds like he’s damn lucky not to be charged with a 924(c) for the drugs. Sometimes it’s better just NOT to comment to the media.

Now that you mention it, Andy Richter would be a fun name to add to this list. Between him, LeVar Burton, and Ken Jennings, I think there are pretty good options.

This is a great question. I have been playing games since the days of Atari and have kept up better than you post-Genesis, but I sympathize with your plight. I personally think that Sony has done a slightly better job with gaming in general than Microsoft, and there’s no reason not to buy a latest-generation console…

Two theories: (1) maybe he just wanted to show that he’s sort of “in demand,” like, “I’m a viable sexual partner,” and he chose the exact wrong way to do it; or (2) he winds up texting another woman immediately after sex with the letter writer, and he feels some need to explain that it’s just a friend, but then his…

Right. Absolutely. Put the phonetic spelling in the damn teleprompter if you have to.

I agree completely, and I had the same moment of confusion you did when going, “Maybe the open vowel sounds sort of ARE cultural signifiers.” I could just imagine the hot-take “discourse” if it happened today. And Kimmel’s joke was hacky and culturally stupid, although I can imagine him saying “I was really just…

Hard to picture Tom Holland murdering 1,829 people, but I’m here for it.

Jesus can you imagine the Twitter response? As I was reading this, I found myself wondering what would happen if you pulled the Uma/Oprah joke today. Would people be offended? People flipped out when Jimmy Kimmel suggested that Mahershala Ali’s first name was confusing to pronounce. (I understand why — just saying…

This movie and Jackass 2 were the craziest movie-theater experiences I’ve had. Just a wonderful collective experience. A close third is seeing The Descent in the theater with like ten other people there and we were all just cursing at the screen in terror by the end of it.

I read the letter as saying, “I have confirmed that he voted for Trump early (or by mail) in this the 2020 election.” I realize now it’s not particularly clear. If so, it would be more disqualifying.

One day he’s married to her, one day he’s sue-sue-suing-her.