:( Agreed. Last time I saw him it was right before he went to rehab. He called my boyfriend’s mom to say hi. He didn’t even charge us for a photo (the celebs are supposed to)

After thinking about it, I would accept that threesome invite.

Hey! I’ve met Xander three times because he’s pretty heavy on the D-list con circuits. He’s really sweet and lets moms give way too long hugs.

Thought this was going to contain more Andy Samberg. HashtagDisappointed

As someone who has gone to 2 schools with multiple bomb threats, the evacuation plan stated above is how things are handled. Alarms and all.

<- All I need from CNN.

Can someone footnote this for me?

Wait. I don’t get it. Why are they making pies?

I think for someone who couldn’t accept herself as transgender until she was in her 60s, it makes sense that once she was okay with one, she was okay with the other.

UGH I want this. Let’s hurry up and get this knockoff pattern into the hands of those little Asian sweatshop labor hands Forever21.

Sometimes I forget the age I’m trying to look and end up aiming way too high or too low. I’m talking baby face vs Gandalf.

I want my breasts to look like a smiling dolphin.

This just brings back memories of the guy that told me that my body, “Was almost just as good as his!!” WELL YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A DONKEY KICKED IT. #HateSexAnyway

Thats why I started the pill! Totally had cramps, threw up and bled for like six days at a time.

I got an IUD three years ago and it actually implanted itself in my uterine wall. It was the most painful thing ever. I’m way too scared to try that shit again.

Some packs are actually designed to not have placebo weeks so you don’t get your period.

dear god I hope this gets a storyline on Keeping Up with the Kardashians

I, too, did this with glitter glue in kindergarten. #ItWasThe90s

Ugh I want to hire hot men to makeout with me without my mom calling it ‘illegal’ and ‘shameful’

This is the weirdest Groupon Getaway I’ve ever heard of