Would it help to write yourself a script before going to talk to the other people involved (or even him?). In confrontational situations I have a habit of diminishing my concerns - oh I am probably just being daft, I know he doesn’t MEAN anything by it - and having a list of things I want to say helps me stop falling…

My uncle got buried on Christmas Eve in the morning. When we all turned up at the graveyard it was a: wet and cold, and b: there were two men - one in a Christmas Pudding hat and one in an elf hat - emptying water out of my aunt’s first husband’s grave (because my uncle was going in on top) with a small pot on the end…

I don’t know. I live in coastal Northern Ireland and I don’t think it’s that tiny. (Wildly climatically inappropriate for her, mind you. If she was wearing that here, she would be one hard ass woman.)

She said the weirdest thing was that he seemed completely sincere. She didn’t stay at that job!

A friend of mine is from Hawaii and when she moved to mainland US, the manager at her job looked at her CV (and traditional name) and said ‘You must have been relieved when the white men came and gave you a language.’

Well, it’s emotionally devastating if you want the pregnancy. If you don’t then it’s probably more of a relief. It’s not really a sign of whether or not she has a soul.

I used to feel like a goddamn PRINCESS when I went into Starbucks and ordered a latte with a half shot of vanilla and a half shot of hazelnut. Obviously I wasn’t trying hard enough.

I don't know, i don't think an eating disorder excuses calling yourself Project Harpoon and publically insulting and mocking people who are overweight. If they do having eating disorders, they are people with eating disorders who are shits.

At Perrier’s Bounty two old ladies produced Chinese Takeout from their copious handbags and tucked in. It was pretty impressive, although after an hour of smelling sweet and sour chicken, my popcorn was NOT filling the hole it was meant to be.

Did Kate Rose compose that article entirely from Johanna Lindsay/80’s Romance Novel titles?

Every time I see Trump, I feel like we should be able to turn this into some sort of twins separated at birth caper movie with Boris Johnson. I mean, the likeness isn’t exact...but I am not the only one that sees it right? I figure Boris finds out he actually has a dual citizenship because he was Born in the USA (it…

Well, yes, but not punching your girlfriend is like not raping your date. It is the right thing to (not) do, but you don’t get any particular kudos for it. Th fact that he got so angry with his girlfriend that bystanders thought they had to intervene and that he rambled on about his desire to punch her, is a sign he…

For some reason this strikes me as a bad idea. Well, not for some reason. For the reason that spraying chemicals into your delicate lung linings sounds like something you don’t do unless you really need to. I am, however, asthmatic, so maybe I just get all the vapour that makes me shaky and twitchy that I need from my…

Maybe that is why they are opening locations? People arrive, buy their cup of bitter butter, drink it, then 10 minutes later look scared, clench their buttocks and run to the bathroom... But WAIT! To poop in a reinforced Bulletproof loo costs a dollar every five minutes.

To be fair, does sound like the 500 calories wouldn’t, you know, necessarily stay in your stomach long enough to do owt to your waistline.

I know, she is so pale around the eyes that it makes me think she is sick.

Many horrid things have happened on planes over the years. There was the woman who kept flicking her whiskey in my face, the man who pooped himself (seriously, you could see it), and if we are including audio the guy who broke up with his girlfriend during the descent into the airport (hadn’t done it sooner because he…

Oh gross. That happened to me on a flight over to England once - I thought there was only one parent that horrid. (When she was done changing him, did she roll the poopy nappy up and stick it in the pocket on the back of the seat?)

I eat wraps because gf wraps are much more acceptable than gf sandwiches (they hold together better if you want chutney or anything like that, the fact they don’t taste of much is better than tasting like gf bread). However, thanks to the new magical GF eating tablet, in a few years I shall be stuffing my face with…

It’s also - if I remember the article I read on it correctly - safe. This is a bad boy who can’t run off, can’t hurt the woman, needs HER to get him things. The more heinous the crime, the less likely this guy is ever going to get out and be able to leave/threaten/hurt her. It’s like a really off kilter version of a…