Don't get all pissy because you can't understand the concept of a trainer. I mean, they've only been around for a couple of decades...

It's pretty clear that the value of a life is about the same as a new iPhone.

Finally, after wading through what seems like thousands of idiotic opinions on what Square should be doing, we finally reach one suggestion that would make sense and wouldn't cost £10m. God bless you, sir.

It makes sense. Just not to you. And other people who have recently had lobotomies.

Why would that be disappointing?

They said it was long, not that it wasn't fun.

From what I can see, it's all about execution: The basic mechanic of Mario games lends itself to a great variety of different interpretations and gameplay styles - which Nintendo were effective in presenting in the various Mario games.

SONIC IS CRAP NOW. I DON'T TRUCK WITH GIMMICK GAMEPLAY, PORTABLE GAMING AND CHEAP NOSTALGIA REHASHES.

You're going to blame consumers for choosing not to buy crappy games?

Mm, now that I look it over, I guess I could see how you could characterise your multi-paragraph condemnation of a writer for the horrid crime of making a running gag out of not liking a game as jocular levity... while a single line overtly mocking you for it is "crying". That would certainly be less embarrassing for…

"I'm not crying, YOU are crying!" - Well that's top work there, sport. I'll have to remember that one. Probably would have worked better if "I'm upset that this guy doesn't like a game I like" was actually an issue, let alone something anyone but you was getting worked up about... or if I'd spent any more than 50…

Laughter that looks like crying.

Ruby Weapon trick: Come into the fight with two team members dead. Fuck up his arms and then revive the rest of your crew.

Aw, he doesn't like a game that you like. Cry some more about it.

YOU'RE A DOUCHE.

Sweet, I always wanted to play this.

Countepoint: Don't do this.

That's pretty embarrassing.