For a start, it's pretty well established that the film did a great job of being an utter abomination that dumbed down everything that made the source material worthy. As for the books themselves - the writing is about 20 times more sophisticated than Harry Potter and the like. A lot of the themes and violence seem to…

Yes, the memories of rage, torment and despair...

I've never heard that. And I think it's a little embarrassing that any Brits have bought into the Yank bullshit about the French bearing in mind that the English spent a thousand years fighting wars against the French that they never ran away from.

Some top level sarcasm there.

Then this game centred around a conflict typified by the mindless rush charge seems like just the thing for you!

"This scene ... works quite well in context. The writing is clever, the voice actress' delivery is flawless and the character movement is finely choreographed. It's a seductive dance that draws the player deeper into this strange and deadly new world."

Tell him to shave that shit off his face, while you're at it.

So, you would say that... THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE?

Do you not realise that remaking the game on the scale you seem to be demanding would cost millions of dollars, thousands of man-hours and would in effect be a brand new game from the ground up?

I am not affiliated with this man.

And here was me thinking that this was mainly for people who maybe played it when it first came out and fancied playing it again now.

It's not a remake. It's just a rejigging so that people can play it on modern PCs without having to mess around with a million patches and the like. It'll look exactly like it always has.

Made it look far more baller than I remember. 1997 me would have been frothing at the mouth.

They used different... thingys to... y'know... output the sound. So yeah, they sounded different. The PC version sounded so shit it actually made me forget that I thought the PS version also sounded like shit.

The reason we can't have a proper FFVII remake is because it would cost too much money to make and do justice to. And then fucking neckbeards would bitch about every little thing they didn't like even when it wasn't that big a deal... like here for example.

That would definitely make them America's team.

What exactly does a liberal British school look like?

Your mom was old two years ago on The AV Club.

"Oh come on" = "Disregard logic and evidence. Just accept what I say."