THERE IS NO EAGLETON ANYMORE!

Ummm, that's actually kind of a sexy minion. Sorry, I'm just saying'.

For the fuck of shit, don't wear blackface.

Anecdotal support: My trainer once asked me if I'd rather be my ideal weight or eat cheese. Without hesitation my answer was cheese.

Really, who can keep track of where all the hair comes from, all I know is that I have garbage bags full of it.

Ewww! What a freak!

My footsteps are silent.. but my creeky, poppy knees and ankles give me away every time.

I don't want to live in a country where a man is condemned for eating a wheel of cheese.

There is no way for her to win at this. If she asks for a discount, she's a rich cheapskate. If she spends a ton, she's wasting the money of the people of Britain. There's literally no scenario in which she will not be criticized.

"RUN to your accounts and take down anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom."

As long as there's no water monsters awaiting Barbie...

My response to EVERY article about millennials...

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/potato-…

Why on earth would anyone want to ban the cutest hairstyle in the whole world?

That might shock them momentarily, but despite what Drew says kids aren't really overwhelmingly stupid. They're confused and ignorant about the world and themselves, sure, but if you demonstrate very clearly just how effective something like that can be guess what they'll start trying?

I'd also like to add the 'Parent who is overly-protective of OTHER people's kids, i.e, mine.' I was at a park and my 2 year old was running around like an idiot like he does and he fell and this other dad I was talking to went running over to him and tried picking him up. I had to literally raise my voice at the dad…

Oh come on don't be such a pussy..