Lots of humiliation, please.

Is he the worst human being ever? Or The Worst Human Being Evaaaaah?

I love you

She is werkin that bikini. Damn.

The pregnant-women-cannot-ever-EVER-drink mindset is so ingrained that I thought my sister-in-law and I were going to be assaulted when I let her share my beer. She was 8 and a half months pregnant and we figured the baby was as good as hecould get. The dirty looks and shocked reactions on a Saturday at lunch in a…

Love my Mirena. Do it.

They are pathetic and unworthy of my attention.

This made me guffaw

Girls are gross, especially when they have sex

I hope the publicists fail.

I read that article when it happened and felt like I was missing something. The drivers license photo (I assume) didn’t look like a “David”. Sigh.

Dax and Kristin are adorable. I think this might be a Taylor Swift troll. Very subtle

I make eye contact at the same time. They move.

Safe to guess that a 14 year old sending nude pictures on the Internet may have some self-esteem issues. How do we cure that? A beating.

Panacea Be A Germ

Well, I’ve got 8 out of 10

This gif is beyong perfect

“That was possibly the hardest paragraph I’ve ever had to type objectively”

I’d like a break down of Dolezaling into a sloth, please. Like grow your nails really long? Asking for a friend.

If I wore that much eye makeup (especially under my eyes) I think the mortuary might send over a wagon.