Round up all the pot smokers, speeders, jaywalkers, people who don’t report internet sales tax, and the criminals who illegally hang something from their rear-view mirror.

Either use the saute function first and brown the skin then pressure cook, or pressure cook first, dump the water then use the saute function to brown the skin.

I am, admittedly, a bit of a Luddite. The thought of a world with machines that kill and artificial intelligence scares the living shit out of me. But at times like these, I truly wish that there were a device that could transport me directly to your location so that I could kick you in the penis.

The before and after of my street. No water inside yet (knock on wood) but it’s still raining.

People tried to find a deeper meaning in Mayweather/McGregor? For one, considering their respective track records, Mayweather is probably the rare Black person who is worse than some Irish dude playing a racist on TV. Dude went on a Twitter rant shaming a girlfriend who decided to get an abortion. He took this fight…

‘The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption, The Shining, are all a trio of well renowned Stephen King titles turned to film. And also, leading exhibits for the Stephen King “Magical Negro Theory,” the idea that a lone black character is at the behest of white characters and protagonists with which he’s surrounded.’

May I point to a document that will brighten your day?

THAT’S HEDLEY!

Why is the press enamored of this wiener? No reasonable person would even buy a Sham-wow from the slimy motherfucker at a mall kiosk.

Orange is the new white.

I hope our brave FIRST RESPONDER (ret.) was not injured while bravely defending our freedom!

wait... this bills to protect privacy in bathrooms?.... what the fuck is the door for then?

This is a difficult one. The Fantastics, written almost 60 years ago, is the longest running musical on the planet. Like The Merchant of Venice, Huckleberry Finn, Gone With the Wind, Crime and Punishment, and other dated works of art, yeah, there are parts of the musical that are certainly offensive from a modern…

Thanks so much. Individual actions are fantastic, but we always must realize that even during Jim Crow segregation, there were kind, wonderful people of all races, even as the systemic racism existed. So today, as we hope to create the world where racial barriers don’t exist, we must always go beyond our individual…

Every time I see his name, I think of Nour al-Deen al-Zinki—maybe Trump will give him the boot if we tell him Ryan Zinke is obviously a secret Muslim whose real birth certificate is somewhere in Syria or Iraq.

That’s the part that really pisses me off—that Zinke et al are planning to completely ignore the express wishes of the Intertribal Coalition. As if they haven’t been fucked with enough.

But it will have an overactive ICE machine.

This all seems like a pretty fair response? We don’t have any evidence that he would even be good at doing some sort of political humor/commentary. Its hard for me to fault someone when all they’re saying is “look I just want to do my style of comedy” on their own show.

this babby is Not Cute. there. i said it.