There were plenty of clues here. Fans, many of which were wearing sunglasses despite the dreary weather, complained that the pre-match fireworks were "too bright," frequently requested advil at the concession stands, and repeatedly asked the P.A. announcer to "turn it down a notch, man."

Substitute Teacher: (amid din of talking students) Hewitt?

Fortunately for Fredrick, his team's fans emulate the players on the field. So when they tried to shoot him, they missed his head by 50 ft.

+1 roughing penalty

You can't really blame them, they are just taking after the team they root for: A vacuous, self-involved group of transplants who celebrate wildly after performing ordinary feats. And yes, I'm talking about you getting some more Corona, LMFAO.

"Are you fucking kidding me? They could have amputated my arm, spun it around, used my elbow for a wrist and attached a prosthetic hand? And then I would have had a completely normal career and not be the punchline of jokes on shady internet sites like Deadspin? GOD DAMMIT!!"

Donate now! After enough money is raised, only Dan Gilbert's road to the NBA cellar will be bumpy!

+1

I think he might be off the hook here. I read a more recent interview with his wife using Google translate:

So the punch-thrower is Germany, the guy dancing around doing nothing is Italy, and the jorts (now soiled) are the Treaty of Versailles?

(Sometime in 2009)

If you're not one for waiting, there's contact about 48 seconds into the clip.

In response to media inquiries, Washington Officials Association commissioner Todd Stordahl stated, "What can I say? I'm an ass man."

Unless that montage is about Mark Sanchez's college years; A prelude to poise.

Dirk Nowitzki is actually an East German cold war experiment designed to loft western babies into wood chippers with infuriatingly consistent accuracy.

Ironically, historical documents show that when rain threatened to ruin a jousting event, the participants would attempt to keep the audience entertained by playing a rudimentary game involving a rock and a stick. In a striking parallel, the royals sucked.

Pictured left: Moments after Jesus Corona tells Zidane he fucked his sister

Jack Edwards

Look at the photo. Did she cross the line? Decide for yourself.

... but it quickly turned into a seedy underground of meme production, conformist hating, and people trolling for sex.