Wendy Williams is the black Ricki Lake. And Ricki Lake was everything I ever hated about high school, minus the football jocks trying to beat the shit out of me. (I say trying because if there was one thing I was good at, it was outrunning football players when a beating was on the line.)

Still reading this but had to comment on this:

I was a childcare teacher for 2 years in Madison, WI back in the early 2000s. I worked all the way up to $8.75/hr even with certificates from UW Extension in Childcare Teaching and Infant and Toddler Care. Babysitting was much more profitable per hour, but there wasn’t that much demand. I had several parents that…

That’s the nice thing about these stories, you know even the fake stories have happened to someone.

I started drinking coffee around that age, without the encouragement of a homophobic parent. It was my choice, and my parents usually discouraged me from having more than one cup... until I started a paper route at 12 and bought a 40oz mug for the coffee I needed to stay awake at school.

No one will ever believe it.

And he lifts his hands and starts dancing backwards across the parking lot...

I hope you don’t mean literal shit, because I believe in natural consequences (within sanity tolerance) but no shit-eating for children in my charge.

Not being rich, importing it is not an option for me. My only requirement for Guinness is that it’s either in a can or on tap at a bar and godfuckingdamnit, Guinness in a bottle is NOT the same thing. And Guinness Stout is NOT the same thing.

We can be friends.

I’m sorry that happened, but we can’t be friends now.

No. B. Reynolds is Bart Reynolds, Burt’s younger brother.

...with the help of Israel and inadvertently released one of the most dangerous computer viruses on the planet (because the systems it attacks are typically found in nuclear power plants and the sort) to the general public.

No longer available.

No longer available.

I think that’s the only Shia LeDouche movie I didn’t immediately loathe.

Why? Human life is not precious. There are literally 7 billion people in the world. Tragedy + time = comedy. Are you saying 24-48 hours isn’t long enough?

Look, this happened in the U.S. We’ve already forgotten about that school shooting the other week. I haven’t seen a gun control argument on my facebook feed in two…

I feel like there are a number of things they could do with the Indiana Jones universe. Worst case scenario (or maybe I’m underselling the idea), they have Ford as Jones recounting his younger days as with the beginning of Last Crusade, introducing a new young actor as young Indy (damnit River Phoenix, I hate you for…

This is the chronic problem I’ve had in my 2007 Pontiac G6 (base model, electronic steering). GM insists the steering recall for every other model of G6 is different from my problem. I’ve had the steering column replaced (which I’m pissed about after $375 because the mechanic seemed confused as to why I was replacing…

You shouldn’t be surprised regardless. SyFy cancels everything whether it’s good or not. It’s The Cancellation Channel. All they need to do is keep a good show around long enough to finish and put it in syndication. Since everything is serialized these days, I won’t touch a SyFy show until the show is completed.

No, they have a TON of super valuable data. American company. Perhaps their UK offices have a TONNE of that kind of data :p

I like your analogy, but let’s take it a step further. It’s like breaking into DARPA to steal a magazine from the lobby.